Ursa's story also ties into my other great kink, for people who do terrible things for what they hope are the right reasons, and then have to live with the consequences.

(Oh, Zuko.)

"(hmm - not sure what this reveals about my general assumptions re wives n' mothers in fiction...)"

I think it reveals at least as much about the general portrayal of wives 'n' mothers in fiction. An episode where, say, the gAang encountered Ursa without realising who she was would have provided a whole different perspective. Or perspectives.