So, yeah, Dreamwidth.

[lizbee]

I love DW and all, but the thing that gets me is the separation of the reading and access lists. Sure, it's a great idea, and I take advantage of it a lot, but then the ol' social anxiety rears its head when I'm adding new people. Like, you have your public journal, and it's all Sophisticated and Thoughtful Material, and then you have your locked entries, which basically consist of a brain explosion in text form.

Or maybe that's just me.

Even though my locked entries aren't actually that different from the public ones. Just, y'know, about real life, or pointing out stupid fandom things.

Anyway, I tend to add people to my reading list without giving them access. And then I wonder what happens when we get to know each other better, and is giving someone access like going steady? Am I coming on too strong? WHAT IF THEY SEE MY BRAINSPLOSIONS?!

Anyway, if people want access here, now's your chance to ask.

Comments

[damned_colonial]

Well, you're on my brainsplosion access list, so if you want to give me access to yours, I'd like to see them :)

[sqbr]

It gets extra complicated for me because I have two journals with fairly different content, and sometimes people give access/subscribe to one when if I was going to give them access it would be to the other (sqbr tends to get the brain explodey, I'm more comfortable giving access to alias_sqbr since locked posts are usually just stuff I don't want the whole internet specifically my parents knowing)

[shewhostaples]

I do much the same thing. I add people to my reading list because I want to read them, but I don't assume that they necessarily want to read me, so I don't add them to Access, because that to me implies an assumption that they do. Which feels... presumptuous. I don't know. And that all interactions have to be mutual, so that if you add them to access, they HAVE to do the same back to you. (It's the same problem as with LJ, but less of a big deal because at least you've got 'read' as a half-way house.)

[lizbee]

Done! I'm sorry; I try to give mutual access, but I don't always notice when people have ... well, you know.

[lizbee]

That makes a lot of sense. I have to admit, especially around the time my flock was being broken regularly, I was on the verge of creating a whole separate journal for non-fannish stuff. (And I made an account just in case I need to make a quick change.)

[lizbee]

Yes, exactly! Giving access to someone I'm just adding to my reading list, without any prior interaction, feels like I've bypassed the casual chat part of friendship, and gone straight to inviting them for sleepovers.

There needs to be a social networking system for the socially inept.

[sqbr]

Something I didn't say explicitly but is an interesting contrast to yourself and the other commenters: I give access to alias_sqbr to pretty much anyone who subscribes to it, even the people I haven't subscribed to. But I have an opt-in filter for the angsty "OWWW I'M SICK" etc posts.

Anyway: Since my posts do mostly split pretty neatly into lighthearted/personal and Serious Business I kept having conflicts with people who'd friended me for the first and didn't understand where I was coming from with the second, so having two journals has been really helpful. It can be a real pain though sometimes, especially when I make a post knowing that the people who would most plausibly be interested aren't subscribed to the right journal.

(And now I feel a bit self conscious about rambling about me and my journals so much. Um. Sorry about that)

[lizbee]

No, that's okay! I'm always interested in finding out how people manage multiple journals.

[kerravonsen]

(okay, that icon is fun!)

Me, I keep one journal, with basically three levels of access/posting: general (not locked), semi-private (access list), brainsplodey (custom access filter).

[tree_and_leaf]

Yes, I know what you mean. Help, I'm too neurotic for the internet!

[umadoshi]

[after reading other comments]

On LJ I wound up having two accounts in the name of separating my RL posts and my geeky posts, and while it seemed like a good idea initially it wound up being kind of a mess. I'd get to know people on the geek account (the original of this one) and then at some point there'd be this conversation of "...so I've got this other journal and you can read it if you want but it's not that interesting so please don't feel like you have to..." Since around when DW started up I've been consolidating into this account for the most part, but in practice that means I almost never post anything under lock, which means I don't usually think to give people access.

Anyway, if you're comfortable with giving me access, that would be neat. ^^ I really like getting to know people online, but when I'm not actively in a fandom I find it harder.

[yukinoomoni]

I like brainsposions.

[gominokouhai]

Depends what you post. For me, I only friends-lock work-related stuff for security reasons. As soon as I know that someone is a) a human being b) not a sworn enemy or my boss c) somewhat interested in reading my stuff, on the access list they go. Anything that should be more secure than that isn't going to be stuff that I put on Internet in the first place. For them as wants finer control, there are always filters.

Brainsplosions sound interesting, but I can't know whether they are or not until I read some. Up to you, really.

[musesfool]

My current "policy", if you can call it that, is that I give access to everyone who subscribes, but I don't actually add them all to my reading list. Since I almost never post anything locked, it's not really a big deal to me, though sometimes I do feel weird that people give me access but I'm not actually reading them on my frlist.

[crossedwires]

That's my exact thought process on subscribing/giving access too. :/

[biichan]

I hadn't realized you were both sqbr and alias_sqbr, although that makes sense. I think I tried to friend you on the wrong journal. (I was trying to get everyone in the group of Austen fans we both hang with, basically.)

[crossedwires]

I like getting to know people online so I would like access, if you don't mind. IDK if you want access back? It's pretty much brainexplosions too!

[biichan]

And then when you're completely flocked (like me), things get even more complicated. Because if I want people to get a taste of my journal, then I have to let them see nearly ALL of my journal. Or be super-adept at filtering things and have, like, levels of information or whatever.

[holyschist]

*g* My locked entries are totally brainsplosions.

[stultiloquentia]

Hey, whatever makes you comfy. I've locked a post maybe three times in the past eight years, so I barely even look at who I've got on which lists. Urk. Maybe I should. I hope nobody who reads me feels unloved....

[philippos42]

Pfft.

I have a different (and probably madder) take in that I actually have two journals that usually don't even reference each other, with different friends lists. So I can try presenting myself in different ways in different contexts (though really I'm pretty much the same, just around different people).

So this one is mostly fandom/criticism/memes/ooh-shiny when it's much of anything, & the other one gets more political rants & occasional disturbing confessions....

Your system is better. But I like having a secret identity.

[sqbr]

Friend whichever has/have content that appeals to you! But the few Jane Austen related posts I make do tend to be on alias_sqbr (and I actually worked on some Jane Austen fic last night, huzzah) Also hello :)

[biichan]

Hello :D