He was a terrible cat, and I miss him
Murderbot (AppleTV+ 2025)
Apr. 10th, 2025 08:33 amWhich is absolutely an overreaction, so I'm sitting on my hands for now, but it has powerful "we have completely captured everything you imagined, except it's white, cis, male and incredibly cheap looking".
AppleTV+ generally produces quite decent-to-good sci-fi, so I assume this will be watchable, but so far it looks generic and boring.
Semi-related, but I did wind up creating a little newsletter where I talk about the TV I've been watching, with an option for other media as the mood strikes me. I have 16 subscribers! You could be the 17th!
Home from hospital
Mar. 22nd, 2025 09:56 amI bought a knee scooter off Facebook Marketplace a couple of weeks ago, but it's not so helpful for getting around tight spaces, like the walk from my bed to the bathroom. The hospital physio set me up with a zimmer frame and taught me to use it, and the hospital has given me a free 30-day loaner frame. (I cannot rate the public health system highly enough. They do so much with so few resources. Support Medicare! Aggressively!)
Because I am clumsy, yesterday afternoon I hit a raised tile with the toes of my good foot and broke one of them. This is actually almost as annoying as the ankle, but will heal faster. I gave it ice and have buddy taped it, which helps.
I set up my bed to be a comfort/recovery station before I left for hospital; naturally that has not lasted. I think I had trouble regulating my temperature overnight, I really thrashed around and messed my blankets up.
I was concerned about pain management, but so far it's great -- I was sent home with five mild opioids, took one last night, but otherwise Panadol has been enough. I'm to take one aspirin a day for six weeks so I don't get blood clots, and cannot restart my arthritis meds for another week. I can resume the Wegovy whenever, but don't feel up to giving myself an injection today.
Next to my broken toe, my biggest annoyance is that last week I bought a remote-controlled bluetooth curtain opener/closer. My bedroom faces west, and it's awkward to get to the curtains. It was my biggest indulgence as I prepared for surgery. Got home yesterday and found that it has disconnected itself and needs to be re-added to the app, which involves climbing up to hold a button. Not gonna happen. My curtains stay closed. This is an extremely petty problem, but it's nevertheless irritating.
Disconnected (severed?) Severance thoughts
Mar. 1st, 2025 12:15 pmWould it be weird to create a weekly newsletter covering things I'm watching and reading? I know that's what Dreamwidth is for, but I like the idea of aggressively putting it in people's inboxes. I could do both. I absolutely have time and energy to commit to a new project.
2024 reading round-up
Jan. 3rd, 2025 07:59 amThis year I kept a media-tracking spreadsheet in Google Docs, and also a paper reading journal. Which sounds extremely wanky, because it is, but I enjoyed the tactile aspect of creating layouts, pasting print-outs of covers, and keeping track of things in handwriting. Also I got to use stickers. Here are a couple of sample pages:


I've already started a fresh journal for 2025, this time in a small ring binder to avoid certain annoying problems, ie, the build-up of thickness from pasting the covers into the same spot over and over again.
Okay, the stats.
Total books logged: 138 (the secret to my success: sprained ankle, broken ankle, covid, ongoing ankle problems and plantar fasciitis have made it more likely that I will stay in the office and read at lunch instead of taking a walk)
DNFs: I didn't keep close track, but a standout is a YA quartet I abandoned 20% into the third book
By target audience (age)
- Adult - 86
- Children - 1
- Young Adult - 42
- Middle Grade - 9
- Contemporary (adult): 7
- Contemporary (YA): 10
- Contemporary (middle grade): 2
What's great about "contemporary" is that it's really a setting, not a genre -- so these 19 books encompassed everything from Māori literary fiction to two books which are arguably thrillers and now I'm wondering if I hit the wrong option in the dropdown menu.
- Fantasy: (adult): 8
- Fantasy (YA): 11
- Fantasy (middle grade): 4
Contemporary mystery and thriller
- Adult: 17
- YA: 10
Science fiction
- Adult: 6
- YA: 6
Adult SF is where I found most of my DNFs this year, as I tried and failed to read more indie SF.
Non-fiction: 35
History was the winner here in terms of numbers, but for quality, I read a bunch of books about organisational and corporate shenanigans at Boeing, NASA, Twitter and Qantas, and those were the standouts.
Author stats
Australian authors: 18% - this is much lower than in previous years, but I made up for it by reading more widely throughout the world, with more books by New Zealanders and Nigerians, and what I think must be the first YA novel I've read by an Argentinian
Authors of colour: 26% - down from last year's 29%, and doing even worse in terms of "30% feels like equality if you're not marginalised"
Women: 67%, I do NOT need to make a deliberate effort to read books by women. Also three were books by trans women, and I need a better way of tracking that than putting an asterisk in the gender box in my reading journal
Trans and non-binary authors: 4%
The really nerdy stats
Library loans: 73% - I tracked spending for the first time this year, and spent a total of $479 on books, plus US$50 for my Queens Library membership.
Ebooks: 76% of my reading was ebooks, plus I read one (1) audiobook. Which is a format I do not care for, but it was the only way to get Black Against Empire from the library. (A stranger on Bsky tried to neg me by saying it's weird that I would have preferred to skim the chapters on Marxist theory, and I'm sorry, I think finding Marxist theory boring is a pretty common position.)
TV stats
For the first time, I tracked TV watching via spreadsheet. I can't tell you down to the minute how many hours of TV I watched, but I watched 69 different series (nice), most in English and most made in the United States.
The end of year fandom meme
Dec. 31st, 2024 08:51 amStill Star Trek, my friends. It doesn't deserve my love, but it has it.
2. Your favorite film watched this year?
Dune Part Two. I really appreciated how it delved deep into the stuff that Lynch's film had to skip: Paul's rise as a
3. Your favorite book read this year?
I'll get to my annual book post in a few days, but roughly by category:
Contemporary mystery: Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera. The murder of the heroine's best friend is the subject of a true crime podcast, and after all these years, she is still the number one suspect in the eyes of the world.
YA: The Fire Keeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley. A thriller set in the Indigenous community of Michigan.
Non-Fiction: Flying Blind: The 737-Max Tragedy and the Fall of Boeing by Peter Robison, Challenger: A true story of heroism and disaster on the edge of space by Adam Higginbotham, and Character Limit: How Elon Musk destroyed Twitter by Kate Conger and Ryan Mac. These books have a lot in common, starting with "actually, this is sort of Ronald Reagan's fault".
4. Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?
The Great Impersonator by Halsey. I was only peripherally aware of Halsey as a performer, but I heard she had an album coming out where she paid tribute to a lot of iconic acts, including PJ Harvey, Tori Amos and Bjork. As someone who was a teenager in the '90s, I was intrigued. I expected a cover album, but instead it's a series of pastiches as Halsey draws on her inspirations as she writes about being treated for leukemia and the possibility of dying young.
Not every homage is effective, but it's overall a really strong album, and it really spoke to me as I dealt with my own health issues.
5. Your favorite TV show of the year?
Star Trek: Prodigy, my beloved. After season 1, I was going around saying it's the objectively best Star Trek since DS9; after season 2, other people were saying it as well. And they were correct. I know it's heavily pushed in fandom as "Star Trek: Janeway" or a sequel to Voyager, and it is that, but I think that does a disservice to a series which very much stands on its own, and understands that obscure references and fan service are meaningless unless you're also telling a good story that's about the new characters.
6. Your favorite online community of the year?
I'm in a Discord community that started as a space for fans of Admiral Cornwell, and now we just mostly hang out and chill.
7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
I belatedly learned there's a new TV adaptation of PD James's Adam Dalgliesh mysteries, with three seasons of six episodes each, and I love the choices it makes. The books spanned the 1960s to the early 2000s, but Dalgliesh concentrates the stories in the 1970s, with the crumbling of the social contract and Thatcher slouching towards Downing Street.
I think it's fair -- if not overly generous -- to say that James was a reactionary and rather conservative author, and the TV series makes a lot of choices she would have utterly hated: lots of characters of colour, overt queerness where she used subtext (and a strong air of distaste), emphasis on Dalgliesh as a man who is accepted by establishment figures because he is white and educated, but who holds himself at a distance.
The best choice it makes is casting a mixed race actress as Kate Miskin. Kate is introduced in the later books as a working class cop with a chip on her shoulder about her education, because she feels her schools spent too much time teaching that racism is bad, rather than actually educating her. Obviously this is James's bugbear. When I last reread the books, in the mid-2000s, I was like, "Either Kate is incredibly racist, or she is Black and didn't need to be told that racism is bad." And so I headcanoned her as Black. Clearly the people behind the TV series felt the same way, and the writing is nuanced enough that this doesn't feel like simple colourblind casting with no eye to subtext.
The downside is that now I ship Kate/Dalgliesh, even though the series has made it clear it's not going there in any meaningful way. Such is life.
Bonus entry: Dune: Prophecy. I do not know if it is actually good -- the first act of the first episode is actively bad -- but it spoke to me on a profound level even before a stout, middle-aged woman was Touched By Destiny.
8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
The fifth and final season of Star Trek: Lower Decks. I very quickly went from "it's a shame Lower Decks was cancelled, but five seasons is a good run" to "Lower Decks should have been cancelled sooner, actually." Season five felt formless and half-baked. Mariner barely had an arc; Tendi was out of character; Rutherford was hardly in it at all. Only Boimler got coherent and consistent character development, and it was predictable at every turn. It was giving burnout in a really sad way. Fortunately the coda to the final episode was so delightful that it almost made up for everything which had gone before, so Lower Decks didn't go out on a wholly sour note for me.
9. Your fandom boyfriend of the year?

If you are in fandom long enough, a Callum Keith Rennie character will be assigned to you.
I know some people were miffed that Discovery introduced a new white man in its final season, gave him a lot of screen time and fans went gaga for it. And I totally get that. I am not proud of who I became when Rayner turned up.
But Discovery needed him. I know I always rail against fans who can't tell the difference between a found family and a cult, but the Discovery crew are absolutely a cult, and the show really benefited from having a guy walk in and go, "Oh no, all this emotional honesty and openness and mutual respect is freaking me out. Please don't make me open up to you. I will completely support you, but I will be a grumpy bastard while I do it."
And he's a fantastic foil for Michael, given that he's where she was in season 1: demoted, roiling with trauma and anger and desperation to please. I don't precisely ship Michael/Rayner, but I absolutely believe he is in love with her. I feel like if we had gotten a sixth season, we would have gotten a lot more stuff about the Breen, Rayner's trauma, and probably more Primarch Tahal. (Speaking of people I definitely don't ship Rayner with, but actually I do.)
Bonus boyfriend: Chakotay, but only in the Prodigy episodes where he's bearded and has his forearms out.

Look, the animators knew what they were doing. Does he look like Robert Beltran? Uh, no. Do I care? Also no.
I have to give Prodigy props overall for taking Voyager's worst character and making him complex and compelling, but they really missed a trick when they let him shave and put a proper shirt on.
Honorary mentions: Lucanis, Daniel Dae Kim as Fire Lord Ozai.
10. Your fandom girlfriend of the year?
Give it up for Valya and Tula Harkonnen!

Yes, they're running a eugenics cult, they've killed a lot of people, they have lied and manipulated and don't intend to stop until they've engineered themselves a Timothée Chalamet. But have you considered: I love them.
11. Your biggest squee moment of the year?
Rayner takes the chair. Michael Burnham gets her happy ending. The announcement that Tilly will be a recurring character in Starfleet Academy. Wesley Crusher in Prodigy.
12. The most missed of your old fandoms?
Sometimes I look in on Doctor Who and miss feeling excited about it. I assume that day will come again, but these things are cyclical.
13. The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
I bought Fallout 4 for Xbox two years ago, and I still haven't cracked it open!
14. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

This is going to be my entire personality for the foreseeable future and I will not apologise.
Drive-by podcast rec: No Gods No Mayors
Dec. 19th, 2024 08:30 amI got into it via their episode on Darryn Lyons, former mayor of Geelong (accurately described in the episode as Australia's New Jersey), then listened to their episodes on Rudy Giuliani and Rob Ford, and then signed up to their Patreon for the second halves of their episodes on Giuliani and Ford. (I do not love this release model, but at the same time, the paywalled episodes are EXTREMELY worth it. I've linked straight to the Patreon, not least because they don't seem to have a website beyond it, and linking to an RSS feed is annoying.)
As a person who enjoys politics, petty corruption and shenanigans, this is very much the podcast for me; the running gag about Rob Ford being the Kwizatz Haderach of bad mayors makes me think it is also the podcast for
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I got a bad grade in ankle
Oct. 14th, 2024 08:27 amThat's the sort of thing that makes doctors sit up and take notice, so I was given a referral for an MRI ("only" $350!) and an appointment to see an orthopedic surgeon in October.
I went into the surgeon appointment expecting that I would have to advocate for myself -- I even made a little resume for my ankle, highlighting its main achievements and key medical history. The surgeon did find this somewhat useful, but as far as he was concerned, there was no question that I require reconstruction surgery. His findings:
- ligament damage
- cartilage damage
- synovial fluid leakage
- probably tiny fragments of bone floating around which are too small for the MRI to detect, but which may explain the clicking feeling inside my ankle when I move it
- an overnight stay in hospital
- 2-3 small incisions
- the surgeon will repair my ligament, smooth the joint and clear out any debris, and will also add an extra redundant ligament ("I am going to treat you like an athlete," he said, which is very funny because there is no one less athletic than me) (it only later occurred to me that I should have asked more questions about this extra ligament, like where does it come from, what is it made of, and is it likely to need replacement)
- two weeks with no weight-bearing whatsoever; I don't know if I'll be in a cast or a boot for this period
- four to six weeks in a boot
- six months wearing a lace-up brace and doing physio
- pyjamas (seasonally appropriate so no point buying them now) (I have this thing where I order a new set of PJs every time I hurt my ankle, and so arguably I don't need more, but two weeks in bed...)
- do I need to take my CPAP to the hospital
- can I take Moopsy to the hospital for emotional support
- organise knee scooter hire in advance
- organise easy/frozen meals
- I don't need a Stanley keg for my room so that I always have ice water on hand ... do I? (no)
- books
- video games
- this is going to be a great time to catch up on 26 seasons of SVU
- investigate shoes I can wear with a lace-up brace, because my feet are delicate flowers and for some reason the brace + sneaker combo is very painful
- I fear I may end up wearing Crocs for six months
- shower chair or stool for bathing
Anyway, I've been reading books
Aug. 10th, 2024 08:01 amAnyway, I fell out of the habit of talking about my books here, because I already keep a spreadsheet and a paper reading journal, but here are some highlights, and also lights.
We Didn't Think It Through by Gary Lonesborough
Lonesborough is a gay Aboriginal man who writes YA about Aboriginal boys being complicated and messy and screwing up. He's a super important voice in local YA, and one who is actually read by teens. This is his second book, about a boy who steals the local white bully's car and goes for a joyride that ends up with the hero in juvie. How do you come of age and become a man when you're in prison? And what kind of man will you be?
I enjoyed this a lot, but -- as someone who is on the record as being against verse novels and against the causes of verse novels -- I think it needed more poetry. The protagonist is very much steeped in hip hop (he listens to Kendrick, as opposed to the white bully, who turns out to be a secret Bieber fan; if this book had been written just a year later, I think Bieber would have been swapped for Drake) and the classic Aboriginal folk and country music that his family listens to; a youth worker in prison turns him onto poetry. It's pretty clear that the publisher couldn't get the rights to quote the poems that become important to the hero, which is a real shame, but also I would have appreciated more of the hero's own poetic voice.
The F Team by Rawah Arja
You know how I'm always complaining that current YA doesn't give its characters space to be messy or hold bad opinions without stopping to reassure the reader that it's okay, they'll learn better? This book does not have that problem. I wanted to gently take the hero and his friends aside and go, "Boys, I'm gonna need you to be less antisemitic." Which kind of goes with the territory when you're reading a book about a group of Lebanese-Australian yoofs and their misadventures as they try -- initially half-heartedly -- to save their school (which is a real school, and its Wikipedia page is a trip) from closure.
When I was very small, my family lived in Sydney for a few years, and my class at my first school was almost 2/3 Lebanese-Australians. So I picked this up on a whim at the library, skimmed a few pages and was immediately transported back to my youth -- Arja has a great ear for dialogue and subtle class differences, as the boys come in contact with the more privileged boys of the Shire, and also earn the respect of the local teenage girls. It's a sports book in the most classic sense, but very enjoyable. And yes, the boys do learn to be less antisemitic as they help their new Jewish frenemy deal with the death of his father.
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
Climbing Mount Everest seems to be a bad idea and no one should do it. But this was incredibly compelling, and I understand why it's a classic.
Flying Blind: The 737-MAX Tragedy and the Fall of Boeing by Peter Robison
I'm slightly ashamed of reading about air disasters the same way I'm slightly ashamed of listening to true crime podcasts, although at least no one has decided that all plane nerds are sending love letters to Boeing. (Probably because the stereotypical plane nerd is a bloke, although the world's leading air disaster blogger is a trans woman.)
Anyway, I also love a business disaster, and obviously Boeing provides both in spades. This was very interesting, very humane, not too heavy on the physics, and I kind of wish I hadn't read it a few weeks before I'm due to fly to New Zealand on a Boeing 737.
The entire Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins
I don't think I've reread the first trilogy since Mockingjay came out, and it holds up really well -- although it has a lot more telling-not-showing than current YA, which has massively ballooned in size since the 2010s. Overall my opinions of the books are unchanged since my first read (Mockingjay in particular needed extra time for revisions, and I salute Collins for extracting herself from the "put out a book a year" treadmill, which obviously doesn't suit her writing), but I was struck by how perception of Katniss as a character has drifted away from the actual content of the books. I see a lot of people talk about her as a straightforward Strong Female Character, where it would be more accurate to say that each book leaves her progressively more broken and traumatised. Like, she spends two-thirds of Mockingjay passively watching and/or having trauma naps because she cannot cope with reality. Which doesn't make for compelling reading, but also isn't the uncomplicated heroine behaviour some readers complain of.
Anyway, I learned in the course of my reread that Collins lives in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, and suddenly her urge to keep returning to this universe made sense.
The Firekeeper's Daughter and Warrior Girl Unearthed by Angeline Boulley
Two historical novels (one set in the 1990s, the other in 2014, I'm sorry, let's all take a moment to feel old) about teenage First Nations girls in Michigan. They're connected -- the heroine of the second is the niece of the first book's narrator -- and really amazing. Probably my favourite reads of 2024 so far. Both are essentially YA crime novels, but the first book deals with drugs, and in particular the impact of meth; the second deals with stolen First Nations artefacts and bodies.
The big trigger warning is that the first book includes a sexual assault on the heroine. It's rough! But also earned? I tore through these books in a couple of days, and at this point will read anything Boulley puts out.
1. What rating do you write most of your fics under?
General Audiences by a long shot ... but I have a second account for anything rated E. Which isn't much, but I split it out a few years ago on account of being An Aspiring Author Of Works For Young Readers, and will at some stage get around to archive-locking those fics.
2. What are your top three fandoms?
- Doctor Who
- Legend of Korra
- Avatar: the Last Airbender
3. What is the top character you write about?
Super embarrassing, turns out it's the Tenth Doctor. But that's because I tended to ship him with female characters I was obsessed with, so let me note that Lin Beifong and Romana are tied for second place, and then Martha Jones and Katrina Cornwell are tied for third.
(I do not ship Lin or Katrina with the Tenth Doctor, I think they'd both very quickly get fed up with him.)
4. What are the top three pairings you write about?
Okay, this one shocked me.
- Mai/Zuko (that makes sense! I wrote a lot for those two!)
- Lin Beifong/Tenzin (sure!)
- Sherlock Holmes/Mary Russell (this is embarrassing)
5. What are the top three additional tags?
- Crack (does anyone else feel like the use of "crack" to denote silly, non-canonical or absurd pairings or fics might be racially insensitive? Or am I wrong in thinking its origins lie in "this is so silly, I may as well have been smoking crack when I wrote it"?)
- Canon Character of Colour (thank you, Avatarverse)
- Post-Canon
Yeah, a male character as my number one most-tagged? Genuinely shocking, and I think I need to write two more Lin Beifong fics so she can take first place.
Actually, if I combined Romanas and included, say, Romana regenerations I made up myself, she's probably safely in the number one spot. BUT NOT OFFICIALLY. So embarrassing.
Finished Star Trek: Prodigy!
Jul. 4th, 2024 09:50 amMy spoiler-free review is that Prodigy has gone from "the best Trek since DS9" to "the best Trek", but in a way which doesn't negate anything that has come before it. It's standing on the shoulders of giants, and also Star Trek: Picard.
( Spoilers for all 20 episodes behind the cut )
Anyway, I've been writing fic
Jun. 7th, 2024 09:06 am
Commander Rayner even has the advantage of being actual canon, not just a character I created by extrapolating from the evil mirror universe version we got on screen.
Since Rayner has no canonical love interest, and I can't ship him with Holly Hunter's Starfleet Academy character until she has a name, I had to make my own fun.
Jet Lag (1798 words) by LizBee
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Discovery
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Rayner
Characters: Katrina Cornwell, Rayner (Star Trek)
Additional Tags: let's pretend Kat was saved in 'Face the Strange' and handwave the physics
Series: Part 1 of 32nd Century Kat
Summary: Kat has been in the 32nd century for ten hours, and she hasn't slept in 900 years. Commander Rayner makes another connection.
Interstitials (760 words) by LizBee
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Discovery
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Rayner
Characters: Rayner (Star Trek), Katrina Cornwell
Additional Tags: Missing Scenes, Trauma, characters denying until their dying breath that they have trauma
Series: Part 2 of 32nd Century Kat
Summary: Adding some Kat/Rayner missing scenes to a couple of Discovery episodes; or, Rayner does not want to talk about his trauma.
3AM (1903 words) by LizBee
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Discovery
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Rayner
Characters: Rayner (Star Trek), Katrina Cornwell
Additional Tags: lightly spoilery for the finale, no one in this fic is wearing pants
Series: Part 3 of 32nd Century Kat
Summary: Rayner is haunted by the past. Some conversations are easier to have in the dark
But if you're going to ignore step one, I suggest not going from "I feel a bit tired and rundown" to "I am highly symptomatic and dying" overnight while interstate on a work trip.
For the record, I did a test before I flew home and it was negative, and I was fully be-masked at all times. I thought I just had a mild cold until I re-tested a few hours later when I arrived home. (New conspiracy theory: airport covid tests always come up negative to prevent panic.)
This all happened a month ago; I was only sick for a few days -- highly rate the XBB1.55 vaccine -- and honestly, the extra rest was probably good for my ankle, which is recovering nicely. The main effect has been a flare-up of all my arthritis and general inflammatory issues, so I'm on steroids and steadily eating my way through the universe like a Very Hungry Caterpillar. Suffice to say I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself to keep Dreamwidth updated. But! I've been working very hard on the exercises I was given in physiotherapy, and I can now stand on my bad foot for 30 seconds without falling over!
I've also been maintaining a
Babel by R. F. Kuang
Apr. 15th, 2024 11:06 amHaving said all this, there's a very, very big space between "this book is outstanding" and "this book is bad, actually". I think Babel is very good, and I'm definitely interested in reading Kuang's fantasy Opium Wars/Chinese Revolution trilogy. But I feel like Babel is more of a B-plus than an A.
If I were a reviewer scoring Babel, at that 53% point, I'd have given it three and a half to four stars.
Unfortunately, I went on to keep reading, and it comes down to two stars. I second everything in this review, and also note that "the Black woman suffers and suffers and suffers but is also the glue that holds everyone together" is a very specific racial stereotype, and Kuang revels in it.
HOWEVER. I had nothing else to read, but I kept going. I figured I'd finish it on the train home on Thursday evening ... until I slipped on a bit of uneven pavement outside the train station and broke my ankle.
Now, I thought it was sprained. I had suffered a very mild sprain of that ankle ten days earlier, and I thought, "Oh no, this is so embarrassing. I should get an X-ray in case it's an avulsion fracture." And then I hobbled to the train platform (about 500m) and onto the train, and spent 40 minutes blasting music and trying not to cry. Then we pulled into my station and I hobbled another 700m to the urgent care next to the station.
That was all very hard. But I have a high pain threshold. So I collapsed into a chair and waited for triage and pulled out my book.
Spoilers, but Babel has a Tragic Ending. (It's Profound.) And I'm a sucker, so I cried, even though I was also thinking, "This is so manipulative and also not very good."
Have you ever cried in an urgent care? Just like that, the triage nurse cut her break short, gave me a wheelchair, and ensured I was seen quickly. I still had to wait overnight for x-rays, which was a horrible and painful night, but the x-rays the next morning showed a clear fibula fracture, and then the urgent care gave me oxycontin. (Which I haven't needed, but it's nice to be taken seriously.) And now I'm in a moon boot for four to six weeks, not allowed to drive, and peacefully rereading some books that won't let me down.
Some professional writing
Apr. 7th, 2024 11:13 amThe Diversity Paradox - Star Trek, Star Trek fandom, and the limits of fandom as progressivism
If I may toot my own horn a little louder, I'm particularly proud of this section:
You might say, “Don’t read the comments.” And that’s fair—but fandom is the comments section.
We’re all here because we looked at a creative work and went, “I love that/I hate that/I have complex feelings I need to explore/I need to know what happens next and I want to discuss all the possibilities/I need to find out minute details about every single starship that appeared on screen/I will actually die if these fictional characters don’t kiss/a combination of some or all of these feelings.” Fandom is more than the act of consumption. Fandom is in the creation that follows, whether that’s through a fan fiction or art, or reviews, or essays, or the conversations between strangers that take place online.
In “Balance of Terror”, Kirk tells a prejudiced crewman to keep his bigotry in his quarters. It’s a snappy line that fits neatly into a single animated gif, so it’s frequently rolled out by fans as a “solution” to the problem of bigotry in fandom. But very few people identify as a bigot, especially in Star Trek fandom. Karen Q. Fangirl isn’t going, “I have a terrible problem with misogynoir, I really hate Black women,” she’s saying, “Look, I just think Michael Burnham and Raffi Musiker and Beckett Mariner don’t belong in Starfleet.” Just as her mother, thirty years ago, complained that Benjamin Sisko was there to serve political correctness, and anyway, isn’t he just too angry to be a good leader? And just as her grandmother wrote Kirk/Spock stories in which Uhura simply did not appear.
Star Trek: Discovery eps 5.01 and 5.02
Apr. 5th, 2024 07:38 amAnyway, these are just some freeform notes which I shall attempt to express more coherently when I record the podcast tomorrow.
( Spoilers for 'Red Directive' and 'Under the Twin Moons' )