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Last night at the laundromat, I started reading Princesses & Pornstars by Emily Maguire, an Australian book about sexism, pop culture and feminism. It's quite good, but my timing was a bit off. You see, I'd just spent the afternoon catching up on all the Twilight wank, and as I read, I had these little voices in my head going:
"That's just your opinion. Not all of us can be strong women. It's a romance, like Wuthering Heights or Romeo and Juliet. You can't say anything until you've created a worldwide fashion trend. You need to put your claws away and use your energy for something productive. People worked very hard making those pornstar t-shirts for little girls, you shouldn't make them feel bad. You'll understand when you're a mother. Try again when you're as rich as Paris Hilton. Go shave your legs, you ugly feminist."
(All sentences adapted from responses to Twilight reviews.)
Thanks a lot, Twilight fandom. I had to put the book down and watch the spin cycle until my brain was back to normal.
*
I was woken up around one-thirty this morning by the sound of our new downstairs neighbours having a domestic. As far as I could make out, she kissed a mate of his called Alec at a party, and she insists it didn't mean anything, but he was kicking her out. Problem was, he wasn't on the lease, nor was he paying rent -- he was trying to kick her out of her own flat. Eventually it got to the stage where he was accusing her of kicking and hitting him, and she was screaming, "Let go, you're hurting me!" And that was when I called the cops.
Eventually I got back to sleep, and had nightmares about being on a bus tour run by murderers, and having to kill people to escape. And seeing someone's heart ripped out while they stood in a queue at the bank. I must have been clenching my jaw, because I woke up with sore teeth and a sinus headache. Good times. Good times.
"That's just your opinion. Not all of us can be strong women. It's a romance, like Wuthering Heights or Romeo and Juliet. You can't say anything until you've created a worldwide fashion trend. You need to put your claws away and use your energy for something productive. People worked very hard making those pornstar t-shirts for little girls, you shouldn't make them feel bad. You'll understand when you're a mother. Try again when you're as rich as Paris Hilton. Go shave your legs, you ugly feminist."
(All sentences adapted from responses to Twilight reviews.)
Thanks a lot, Twilight fandom. I had to put the book down and watch the spin cycle until my brain was back to normal.
*
I was woken up around one-thirty this morning by the sound of our new downstairs neighbours having a domestic. As far as I could make out, she kissed a mate of his called Alec at a party, and she insists it didn't mean anything, but he was kicking her out. Problem was, he wasn't on the lease, nor was he paying rent -- he was trying to kick her out of her own flat. Eventually it got to the stage where he was accusing her of kicking and hitting him, and she was screaming, "Let go, you're hurting me!" And that was when I called the cops.
Eventually I got back to sleep, and had nightmares about being on a bus tour run by murderers, and having to kill people to escape. And seeing someone's heart ripped out while they stood in a queue at the bank. I must have been clenching my jaw, because I woke up with sore teeth and a sinus headache. Good times. Good times.
