So our internet has been all flaky due to a fault on the line, so we were unable to *ahem* Torchwood last night. (We have the first ep, now, and will grab the second tomorrow.) So
weaverandom decided to provide substitute entertainment by writing Jack/Dalek Sek fic. And now she's told me to post it here, on the grounds that there are more Doctor Who people reading my LJ than hers.
"Well, hello there," said Jack, dashingly. Or perhaps rakishly. He hadn't quite decided which he was going for, and he'd started talking before he'd really made up his mind. "You're looking ravishingly lovely, I must say."
"I! Have! No! Concept! Of! Lovely!" Dalek Sek said crossly - or as crossly as a Dalek could. Which, Jack had to admit, was really pretty cross. Daleks were good at cross. It was only when it came to 'dashing' or 'rakish' or even 'gentle' that Jack had the edge.
"Well, you only got to look in a mirror to find out, gorgeous," he said, and decided it was definitely dashing. His hat wasn't quite at the right angle for rakish, anyway.
"You! Shameless! Flatterer!" Sek's plunger, nevertheless, patted awkwardly at its polish, surreptitiously buffing its shell. "What! Are! You! Getting! At!?"
"Me? Getting at something?" Jack looked his most honest and trustworthy. "Hey, I only wanted to tell the truth, gorgeous. You're perfect. You're a work of art."
"You! Only! Want! To! Get! Into! My! Carapace!" Sek accused, trundling backwards from the controls and rotating to glare bluely at Jack.
Jack gave it a Wounded Look. "Now, sweetness, don't you think I got more class than that?"
"No!" Sek flashed its lights, which had now taken on a definite tinge of red. "You! Are! Foolish! You! Will! Not! Succeed! My! Carapace! Is! Tighter! Than! A! Time! Lord's! Trousers!"
"Time Lords' trousers aren't that tight," Jack pointed out, brushing past Sek and sliding a hand over its smooth dome. "Trust me, I know."
There was a slightly intrigued silence. Jack smiled. This wasn't going to be so hard after all.
"Well, hello there," said Jack, dashingly. Or perhaps rakishly. He hadn't quite decided which he was going for, and he'd started talking before he'd really made up his mind. "You're looking ravishingly lovely, I must say."
"I! Have! No! Concept! Of! Lovely!" Dalek Sek said crossly - or as crossly as a Dalek could. Which, Jack had to admit, was really pretty cross. Daleks were good at cross. It was only when it came to 'dashing' or 'rakish' or even 'gentle' that Jack had the edge.
"Well, you only got to look in a mirror to find out, gorgeous," he said, and decided it was definitely dashing. His hat wasn't quite at the right angle for rakish, anyway.
"You! Shameless! Flatterer!" Sek's plunger, nevertheless, patted awkwardly at its polish, surreptitiously buffing its shell. "What! Are! You! Getting! At!?"
"Me? Getting at something?" Jack looked his most honest and trustworthy. "Hey, I only wanted to tell the truth, gorgeous. You're perfect. You're a work of art."
"You! Only! Want! To! Get! Into! My! Carapace!" Sek accused, trundling backwards from the controls and rotating to glare bluely at Jack.
Jack gave it a Wounded Look. "Now, sweetness, don't you think I got more class than that?"
"No!" Sek flashed its lights, which had now taken on a definite tinge of red. "You! Are! Foolish! You! Will! Not! Succeed! My! Carapace! Is! Tighter! Than! A! Time! Lord's! Trousers!"
"Time Lords' trousers aren't that tight," Jack pointed out, brushing past Sek and sliding a hand over its smooth dome. "Trust me, I know."
There was a slightly intrigued silence. Jack smiled. This wasn't going to be so hard after all.