Reading the comments

[lizbee]

One of my particular vices at work is Reading the Comments.  Some people (my boss) would say that reading the news at all is a vice, given that I'm supposed to be working, but as far as I'm concerned, the only problem is the comments.  I'm trying to give up.  In the meantime, here are some of the people I've encountered lurking in the comments at The Age:

Anti-Zeitgeist Guy:  "Despite my demonstrated ability to navigate a mainstream press website and reach the entertainment pages, I have never heard of Lady Gaga/Twitter/Adele/JK Rowling, and moreover, my ignorance makes me a better person."

The Unionbuster:  "None of this would have happened if union membership was made illegal in the name of democracy."

Reds Under the Beds:  "This is all the fault of the godless Communists of [insert political party here]."  [A close relative of the Unionbuster, this person may actually be a time traveller from 1955.]

The Baby Boomer:  "Kids today are unbelievably selfish, the way they expect to have jobs that pay a living wage," or, alternatively, "When I left school I walked into a well-paying job and stayed in it for 40 years!  What's wrong with kids today that they can't do that?"

Generation X:  "This is all the fault of the Baby Boomers and Gen Y."

Gen Y:  "This is all the fault of the Baby Boomers and Gen X."

Identity Apolitical:  "If people didn't walk around being not white/not men/not straight, they wouldn't be subjected to racist/sexist/homophobic attacks!  It's easy -- just look at me!"

Abbott's Army:  [carbon tax] [refugees] [sexist tirade about Prime Minister] [classist remark about Prime Minister's accent] [something something Ju-LIAR]

Working Class Hero:  "Teachers/scientists/doctors/nurses/university lecturers/etc need to get REAL jobs and see what it's like in the REAL WORLD!"

Working Class Hero Redux:  "I have no knowledge of this issue beyond what I gleaned from skimming this article, but I work with my HANDS and am thus better qualified than anyone to provide a solution!"

The Victorian Astroturfer:  "As a teacher/nurse/librarian/etc, I work six hours a day and earn $80,000 a year.  And I could earn even more if it wasn't for the union!"

The Slightly Lost Astroturfer:  "All of these problems could be solved if everyone just voted for Ron Paul."

The Foreign Policy Expert:  "My reading of right-wing blogs makes me an expert on American politics!  [Insert Tea Party talking points/racist remark about Barack Obama here.]

The Foreign Policy Expert Redux:  "My reading of left-wing blogs makes me an expert on American politics!  [Insert classist remark about Republican voters here.]

Tough Love:  "Refugees, the poor, the disabled, these are the enemies of freedom.  For their own good they need to be separated from society and confined for their own good, while also not receiving any kind of government support whatsoever."

Sensible Point:  "I have a meaningful and non-extreme contribution to this discussion.  But good luck finding me!"

Comments

[deird1]

"Kids today are unbelievably selfish, the way they expect to have jobs that pay a living wage," or, alternatively, "When I left school I walked into a well-paying job and stayed in it for 40 years! What's wrong with kids today that they can't do that?"

*nods* I see that one a lot.


The Slightly Lost Astroturfer: "All of these problems could be solved if everyone just voted for Ron Paul."

Hee!

[lizbee]

*nods* I see that one a lot.

Me too. When I was at uni, it was, "Kids today expect to walk out of uni and straight into a high-powered job, and that's unreasonable." Now it seems to be, "Kids today expect to walk out of uni and into any job vaguely related to their field of study, and that's ridiculous. And why do they all live with their parents? Why are they working shitty McJobs? What is wrong with kids today?!"

[deird1]

Whereas my parents just stick with "Why haven't you saved up enough money for a house yet? We'd bought a house by the time we were 25..." - failing to realise that I'm using my single income to rent a unit, furnish it, and pay for a second degree... and OH YES houses cost a lot more than they used to! Who'd have thunk it?!

[lizbee]

...and OH YES houses cost a lot more than they used to! Who'd have thunk it?!

SHOCKING, I KNOW.

The upside of my parents going bankrupt in the Recession We Had To Have is that I don't have those sorts of expectations. (OTOH, I always have a bit of a "...whut?" moment whenever people assume that, as a lefty, I'm a great big fan of Keating.)

[recessional]

One of the joys of my mother being the main recruiter for docs in my (isolated, northern) hometown is that I never, ever get this.

(The cause and effect being that recently accredited MDs look at everything in terms of "can I make enough there to pay back my obscene student loans?" and we're not even the US . . . )

[wolfy_writing]

Wait, it's an achievement to not know anything about Lady Gaga or Adele? I thought it was a sign of me not paying attention when I discovered my parents knew more about current pop music than I did. (I'd heard of Lady Gaga, I just didn't have anything more than the vaguest idea of who she was.)

[lizbee]

It's not only an achievement but a sign that you, and you alone, are the last standard bearer for western civilisation as it once was.

[wolfy_writing]

So I shouldn't have googled Bad Romance just now, then? Did I just cause the downfall of western civilization?

[lizbee]

Yeah, I really think you did.

Check out her version of "The Lady is a Tram" with Tony Bennett, too.

[drakyndra]

"The Lady is a Tram"

Liz, that is a truly marvellous typo.

[lizbee]

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T SPOT THAT!

...but it's so amazing I'm going to leave it.

[drakyndra]

"From the Soundtrack to the Australian adaptation to the Utena movie..."

Ron Paul

[norabombay]

I realize that the US is a global hegemonic power, and that our main politics are far more news worthy outside the US than other's politics are inside the US.

But I never thought we would export the Ron Paul followers.

I am so very very sorry.

So very very very sorry.

[sqbr]

This made me laugh out loud. I'd pick a favourite one but theyr'e all funny :)

[st_aurafina]

Generation X: "This is all the fault of the Baby Boomers and Gen Y."

I was just thinking, as I read this list, "Those bloody baby boomers, I tell you."

*sighs and embraces Gen X curmudgeonly nature*

[lilacsigil]

Ooh, don't forget Misogynist #1 ("Women are abandoning their kids for work, money-crazed harridans!") and #2 ("Women expect us to support them staying home with their kids, lazy bludgers!")

[lizbee]

Ooh, how could I forget! And their good friend, "Women! Why can't they do anything right?!"

[andraste]

I have the terrible habit of reading the comments on the science and health articles, which as you might expect is also a terrible idea. It is wall-to-wall fat shaming and global warming denial in there, I tell you.

[lizbee]

I just don't read anything about weight loss (or gain) in the mainstream media any more. I enjoy a little rage now and then, but not that much!

[andraste]

You are very wise. I think anyone familiar with the general atmosphere can probably predict 90% of the things said on those articles without looking.

[infiniteviking]

And this is why I never read the comments.

[tree_and_leaf]

That's remarkably like the Guardian's comments section (which I am also trying to give up), except you can also add

1. The Angry Atheist: It's all the fault of religion!

2. Cardinal Fang: It's all the fault of godless atheists, and only Catholicism is the way forward! Also, Richard Dawkin once kicked my puppy!

3. The American Troll (possibly related to Rick Santorum): You Brits know nothing because your socialised medical death panels destroyed your empire!

4. The Media Tinhatter: It's all Rupert Murdoch/ the BBC's fault! (That one comes in right-wing and left wing flavours but is essentially the same).

5. The Out-dated: I haven't actually read this article, but it's got something to do with the welfare state/ the Middle East/ Afghanistan/ America, so I know it's Tony Bliar's fault!