For all your trainwreck needs
Apr. 23rd, 2014 10:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizbeeOccasionally, I enjoy an anecdote that involves outrageous behaviour by some or all parties involved. Especially if that anecdote doesn't involve me, or anyone I know.
Captain Awkward is often a good source of this, but my other go-tos are:
Ask A Manager -- it totally offers legitimate workplace advice! And useful guidance on managing interpersonal issues in a professional environment! And occasionally "only in America" hilarity, like when the blogger freaks out because unions exist, or the post about whether or not it's illegal to carry a concealed weapon at work. (Spoilers! In some American states it is TOTALLY LEGAL! There was a whole thread of foreigners going, "Whut?")
Etiquette Hell -- the anti-Captain Awkward! Because where CA and her commenters, toxic and self-righteous as they often are, aren't ... well, they wouldn't judge you for organising your own birthday dinner. Or tell you off for using the term "slut shaming". What I'm saying is, there are trainwrecks EVERYWHERE here. (The commentariat is often better than the actual blogger, in that they go, "What the hell, that advice was totally wrong! And also makes a lot of assumptions about you that may not be applicable!")
But my current favourite trainreck is this post from Ask A Manager: My boss has romantic phone conversations that bother me because I'm single. OP is very sad about being single, and feels like the boss is being deliberately coupled to spite them! When complaints fail, OP resorts to passive-aggressive silent treatment and complaining about the boss to their mutual friends!
My boss sat me down for a tough conversation at the beginning of the following workweek, addressing the unprofesionalism of my email, the need for me to better understand my role in the organization, and that the concerns I had laid out about her managerial style were unacceptable to express. Regarding the romantic phone calls, she was defensive, claiming that they weren’t “recreational” in nature (which was a total lie). She said I should put on headphones if I didn’t want to hear her personal conversations.
IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN IT TURNED OUT THE OP WAS MALE. Not that women don't engage in outrageous behaviour at work (I totally recommend AAM's archives), but that mixture of self-righteousness, entitlement and passive aggression? Totally dudely. And, again, this isn't Captain Awkward, so no one in the comments has actually gone, "Uh, dude, you are acting like Walter White, and not in the cool drug lord way."
(Though there is this comment:
In one of AAM’s replies, she is implying that the OP is male, which, if true, makes me look at the issue a little differently.
In my past, I’ve encountered men who believe that a relationship is something that they “have,” like a nice car or a TV; that a relationship is something that they “deserve,” perhaps more than other people deserve one; or that’s “unfair” that they don’t have a relationship. It is not fun to be in a relationship with someone who thinks this way–they may not think of their female partner as a possession, but you can’t work with them to grow the relationship as an organic thing that exists between the two of you because they think of the relationship as a possession that you’re threatening. (Maybe there are women who think like this too, but I guess I wouldn’t know…)
I got a bit of this vibe from the way the OP takes offense at his(?) boss having a relationship when he doesn’t. Why does that matter? It seems nonsensical, like being upset that someone else is religious when you’re not. It’s not that the boss “has” something that the OP does not. It’s just a part of life that you can choose to pursue or not as your own taste and personality lead you.
IN CONCLUSION, I am going to be spending today reading this and rolling around laughing. And also writing wrong bad terrible fic that I am legit ashamed of, and also some blog posts and some of the million other things I'm meant to be doing. My point is, rolling around laughing is going to be a thing.
Captain Awkward is often a good source of this, but my other go-tos are:
Ask A Manager -- it totally offers legitimate workplace advice! And useful guidance on managing interpersonal issues in a professional environment! And occasionally "only in America" hilarity, like when the blogger freaks out because unions exist, or the post about whether or not it's illegal to carry a concealed weapon at work. (Spoilers! In some American states it is TOTALLY LEGAL! There was a whole thread of foreigners going, "Whut?")
Etiquette Hell -- the anti-Captain Awkward! Because where CA and her commenters, toxic and self-righteous as they often are, aren't ... well, they wouldn't judge you for organising your own birthday dinner. Or tell you off for using the term "slut shaming". What I'm saying is, there are trainwrecks EVERYWHERE here. (The commentariat is often better than the actual blogger, in that they go, "What the hell, that advice was totally wrong! And also makes a lot of assumptions about you that may not be applicable!")
But my current favourite trainreck is this post from Ask A Manager: My boss has romantic phone conversations that bother me because I'm single. OP is very sad about being single, and feels like the boss is being deliberately coupled to spite them! When complaints fail, OP resorts to passive-aggressive silent treatment and complaining about the boss to their mutual friends!
My boss sat me down for a tough conversation at the beginning of the following workweek, addressing the unprofesionalism of my email, the need for me to better understand my role in the organization, and that the concerns I had laid out about her managerial style were unacceptable to express. Regarding the romantic phone calls, she was defensive, claiming that they weren’t “recreational” in nature (which was a total lie). She said I should put on headphones if I didn’t want to hear her personal conversations.
IMAGINE MY SHOCK WHEN IT TURNED OUT THE OP WAS MALE. Not that women don't engage in outrageous behaviour at work (I totally recommend AAM's archives), but that mixture of self-righteousness, entitlement and passive aggression? Totally dudely. And, again, this isn't Captain Awkward, so no one in the comments has actually gone, "Uh, dude, you are acting like Walter White, and not in the cool drug lord way."
(Though there is this comment:
In one of AAM’s replies, she is implying that the OP is male, which, if true, makes me look at the issue a little differently.
In my past, I’ve encountered men who believe that a relationship is something that they “have,” like a nice car or a TV; that a relationship is something that they “deserve,” perhaps more than other people deserve one; or that’s “unfair” that they don’t have a relationship. It is not fun to be in a relationship with someone who thinks this way–they may not think of their female partner as a possession, but you can’t work with them to grow the relationship as an organic thing that exists between the two of you because they think of the relationship as a possession that you’re threatening. (Maybe there are women who think like this too, but I guess I wouldn’t know…)
I got a bit of this vibe from the way the OP takes offense at his(?) boss having a relationship when he doesn’t. Why does that matter? It seems nonsensical, like being upset that someone else is religious when you’re not. It’s not that the boss “has” something that the OP does not. It’s just a part of life that you can choose to pursue or not as your own taste and personality lead you.
IN CONCLUSION, I am going to be spending today reading this and rolling around laughing. And also writing wrong bad terrible fic that I am legit ashamed of, and also some blog posts and some of the million other things I'm meant to be doing. My point is, rolling around laughing is going to be a thing.
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Date: 2014-04-23 05:59 am (UTC)Just... what.
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Date: 2014-04-23 11:13 am (UTC)Oversensitive Single Guy is... oh dear.
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Date: 2014-04-27 06:25 am (UTC)