Thoughts had during Age of Ultron

[lizbee]

"Why did they recast the Hulk? Mark Ruffalo was way better than this dude."

"Oh. That is Mark Ruffalo. Welp."

"Didn't he have chemistry with ScarJo last time?"

"I was pro Natasha/Bruce until it actually happened and then zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

"Jeremy Renner's face truly is repulsive."

"I must have been in the bathroom when they explained why Thor was going on a skinny dipping vision quest."

"Oh, it was a literal Vision quest."

"I can't make out anything anyone is saying. Except CEvans. I finally get why Tumblr says Joss can't write Cap."

"Man, Chris Evans really doesn't want to be here, does he?"

"Hey, I caught that dialogue! It was ... terrible. Remember when Joss was famous for his dialogue?"

"I really understand, now, why someone on Twitter was calling the Maximoff twins Eurotrash."

"What this movie needs is a Melinda May cameo."

"Come on, guys. Where is Melinda?"

"I have no idea what is happening. Why is the city flying? Who is talking physics with Tony? What is happening?"

"I have never been so glad to see Joss Whedon kill a character as I am now. If only Hawkeye had gone with him."

"Every time I start liking Wanda, I remember Joss Whedon's id. That's not fair to the character at all."

"Well, that was certainly a movie. Well, they had to do something worse than Iron Man 2 eventually. I hope Nebula is in the Avengers v Thanos movie."

For the Continuum movie outing, I wrote the following blurb: Will Joss Whedon kill off another beloved character? Will it pass the Bechdel Test this time? Will Chris Evans take his shirt off in a scene that’s entirely relevant to the plot and not gratuitous in any way at all?

Sadly, the answer to all of these questions was no. Unless you really loved Quicksilver, I guess.

ETA: Actually, Natasha's Red Room flashbacks pass the Bechdel test, and were also the highlight of the movie. But for present-day interaction between Natasha, Maria and Wanda, we shall have to turn to fic.

Comments

[violetisblue]

Worse than Iron Man 2? Even without Mickey Rourke stinking up the place? Oh, man.

[lizbee]

It's QUITE impressive, yes. It's not entirely terrible, but only because the Black Widow stuff is great. Even with the complete sucking void of chemistry between ScarJo and Ruffalo.

[recessional]

OH OH OH PLEASE TO TELL ME NATASHA'S BACKSTORY AND THE TWINS AND SAVE ME FROM HAVING TO WATCH THIS SHIT.

Also who did he kill?

[lizbee]

Natasha's backstory is pretty much like the comics, but presumably without her being born in 1917 or whenever. She entered the Red Room as a young girl and was trained as a ballerina and assassin (by Julie Delpy!). The main digression from comics canon, apart from her age, is that all graduates of the Black Widow program are sterilised.

The twins are from an Eastern European country that's "nowhere important, but on the way to everywhere important". Their parents were killed when their home was shelled, and the twins themselves spent three days trapped under a bed by an unexploded shell bearing (of course) the name STARK. They volunteer for the HYDRA enhancement program for pretty much the same reason Steve volunteered for the super soldier serum: to protect their people.

(That comparison is explicitly drawn by Steve himself.)

They are initially allied with Ultron against Stark, but when Wanda realises that Ultron's plan is the extinction of humanity, they change sides.

Joss fridges Pietro to give Wanda waif-pain. (I'm normally into that kind of thing, but we've seen Joss do this before, and it was nothing new.)

[recessional]

You are my favorite.

[jesuswasbatman]

No, the sterility thing is comics canon, not something Joss made up. I remember it caused some complaint when it was introduced.

[lizbee]

Oh, I didn't realise -- I figured from the Name of the Rose story that it was new. But Black Widow's origins get retconned so often anyway, it almost doesn't matter.

[philippos42]

Julie Delpy! !!!

As a Russian? ???

I wonder when they decided to kill Pietro. It looks like one Maximoff is in MCU and the other in X-Movies now. Interesting.

[laurenthemself]

That was EXACTLY why I figured Pietro bit it.

[philippos42]

Laughing out loud.