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Sometimes (ie, when I have nothing to do at work), I enjoy reading one-star Amazon reviews of books that are generally regarded as being Quite Good Actually. Because let's face it, when you've got a one-star review for Pride and Prejudice, you can safely assume the reader has missed the point.
For example.
For Wild Swans: If any of you want someone similiar to Memoirs of a Geisha such as I did and got this book as a recommendation..do not buy nor read. This novel must be a historian haven because it only deals with historical facts and lacking the exicitement, thrill, FEELINGS in a book.
Fairly damning, except that Wild Swans is, you know, a history.
To Kill A Mockingbird: This book, written by Harper Lee, is some-what interesting. I don't like it that much, becuase there is to much drama. The main reason I read it is because my teacher made our class read it for a grade and I really do not need a F on my report card. It's full of rasism, and takes place a Long time ago in a small town in Alabama. I would recommend it to people who are addicted to drama.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: First of all, let me say that much of the so-called "story" in this supposed "book" is nothing but lies and weirdness. Some of it even defies all belief! If you like books about crazy aliens who act like they are out of their gord, well maybe this book is up your alley. I'm worried that if you let your children read this, it will make them think the world really works like this, and that you can talk to mice like they are people (no kidding -- it says that). Good luck teaching kids right from wrong after they've had their brains scrambled by this rubbish. At times I could not tell if Mr. Adams was trying to be funny or if he really thinks this way. I suspect maybe he needs professional help or something. I shudder at the thought of encouraging people to publish this sort of insane rambling as if it were a travel guide to outer space. I certainly didn't get any good, practical travel advice from this book. Stick with Fodor's and save yourself the bother.
Little Women: For me, this book was not good enough. I want entertainment, creativity, surprise, unexpected events and interesting characters. I prefer books like Twilight and Harry Potter for young adults and myself. Sexual language: none. Number of sex scenes: none. Setting: 1860s the North during the civil war. Genre: fiction for young girls.
The Great Gatsby: Hey everyone! Lookit me! I'm a rich little snot and I can throw a big party in my mansion! What's "great" about this Gabsty fellow exactly? Write something about people who work for a living, not this junk.
I didn't like this one little bit, sorry. Try again. Only one star for your book, sir!
Playing Beatie Bow: i think the main reason i didnt enjoy this book was because it was a bit old. It was published in 1980, so thats probobly why. I wasn't even born then.
Huckleberry Finn: This book should have never saw print, much less read and loved by generations of Anerican readers. That goes to show how stupid Americans can be. Nor should it be regarded as the novel that inspired all other American novels. Nor should anybody be impressed by the seven or eight dialects employed within the novel's structure, which the fool author made up to fool us into believing people actually talked like that. The story is a couple of people floating down a river, with a number of utterly unsuccessful scenes meant to enhance and define a theme so obvious its not even worth mentioning. Then there is the structure of scenes themselves. Each uniformly the same in length and what occurs except the last where in the scene drags on and on and on and on. Then to top it all off at the end Hucleberry Fin regresses. This is worthless. Anybody who likes this novel is stupid. They have no linguistic intelligence or even logical intelligence. And yes you all should read Dean Koontz who is a better writer than Samuel Clemens ever dreamed of being. He will be our Shakespeare, never Mark Twain. I will come back from the dead to stop that from occuring. This is the worst, well known, book ever written so far as I know in this language
And my favourites:
Pride and Prejudice: Basically, the whole book is about an 18th century girl whining about her upper middle class life. Of course, at the end, she gets exactly what she wants and everyone lives happily ever after. There is credit to be given to Jane Austen, since she wrote the book in an American household in the early 1800s, with no support from any of her family. She had to hide her writing under knitting or sewing whenever someone approached. She then had a friend publish the books she wrote, without telling her husband. Considering all that, the story really isn't that bad, but in general, if you were looking for a book by Jane Austen, Emma would be a better read. If you want a predictable love story, "Pride and Prejudice" is a good book for you.
Jane Eyre: I was forced to read this book for summer reading. No ways around it. Upon reading the back page summary, I knew that it would be a grueling torture test in which only the strong willed would surive to the last page. Trudging page by terribe, agonizing page, I read the book over a period of one horrific month. Needless to say, this book ruined the previous exitement I had about reading. This is terrible. Some "classics" should not be given to males, as goes for females. Obviously a romance novel should not be given to a male and ask him to enjoy it, as such a brutal police killers book should not be given to a female and expect her to geniunely enjoy it. This book has left a deep scar on my ability to love liturature for the rest of my life and will not be easily healed.
I despair for humanity, really.
For example.
For Wild Swans: If any of you want someone similiar to Memoirs of a Geisha such as I did and got this book as a recommendation..do not buy nor read. This novel must be a historian haven because it only deals with historical facts and lacking the exicitement, thrill, FEELINGS in a book.
Fairly damning, except that Wild Swans is, you know, a history.
To Kill A Mockingbird: This book, written by Harper Lee, is some-what interesting. I don't like it that much, becuase there is to much drama. The main reason I read it is because my teacher made our class read it for a grade and I really do not need a F on my report card. It's full of rasism, and takes place a Long time ago in a small town in Alabama. I would recommend it to people who are addicted to drama.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: First of all, let me say that much of the so-called "story" in this supposed "book" is nothing but lies and weirdness. Some of it even defies all belief! If you like books about crazy aliens who act like they are out of their gord, well maybe this book is up your alley. I'm worried that if you let your children read this, it will make them think the world really works like this, and that you can talk to mice like they are people (no kidding -- it says that). Good luck teaching kids right from wrong after they've had their brains scrambled by this rubbish. At times I could not tell if Mr. Adams was trying to be funny or if he really thinks this way. I suspect maybe he needs professional help or something. I shudder at the thought of encouraging people to publish this sort of insane rambling as if it were a travel guide to outer space. I certainly didn't get any good, practical travel advice from this book. Stick with Fodor's and save yourself the bother.
Little Women: For me, this book was not good enough. I want entertainment, creativity, surprise, unexpected events and interesting characters. I prefer books like Twilight and Harry Potter for young adults and myself. Sexual language: none. Number of sex scenes: none. Setting: 1860s the North during the civil war. Genre: fiction for young girls.
The Great Gatsby: Hey everyone! Lookit me! I'm a rich little snot and I can throw a big party in my mansion! What's "great" about this Gabsty fellow exactly? Write something about people who work for a living, not this junk.
I didn't like this one little bit, sorry. Try again. Only one star for your book, sir!
Playing Beatie Bow: i think the main reason i didnt enjoy this book was because it was a bit old. It was published in 1980, so thats probobly why. I wasn't even born then.
Huckleberry Finn: This book should have never saw print, much less read and loved by generations of Anerican readers. That goes to show how stupid Americans can be. Nor should it be regarded as the novel that inspired all other American novels. Nor should anybody be impressed by the seven or eight dialects employed within the novel's structure, which the fool author made up to fool us into believing people actually talked like that. The story is a couple of people floating down a river, with a number of utterly unsuccessful scenes meant to enhance and define a theme so obvious its not even worth mentioning. Then there is the structure of scenes themselves. Each uniformly the same in length and what occurs except the last where in the scene drags on and on and on and on. Then to top it all off at the end Hucleberry Fin regresses. This is worthless. Anybody who likes this novel is stupid. They have no linguistic intelligence or even logical intelligence. And yes you all should read Dean Koontz who is a better writer than Samuel Clemens ever dreamed of being. He will be our Shakespeare, never Mark Twain. I will come back from the dead to stop that from occuring. This is the worst, well known, book ever written so far as I know in this language
And my favourites:
Pride and Prejudice: Basically, the whole book is about an 18th century girl whining about her upper middle class life. Of course, at the end, she gets exactly what she wants and everyone lives happily ever after. There is credit to be given to Jane Austen, since she wrote the book in an American household in the early 1800s, with no support from any of her family. She had to hide her writing under knitting or sewing whenever someone approached. She then had a friend publish the books she wrote, without telling her husband. Considering all that, the story really isn't that bad, but in general, if you were looking for a book by Jane Austen, Emma would be a better read. If you want a predictable love story, "Pride and Prejudice" is a good book for you.
Jane Eyre: I was forced to read this book for summer reading. No ways around it. Upon reading the back page summary, I knew that it would be a grueling torture test in which only the strong willed would surive to the last page. Trudging page by terribe, agonizing page, I read the book over a period of one horrific month. Needless to say, this book ruined the previous exitement I had about reading. This is terrible. Some "classics" should not be given to males, as goes for females. Obviously a romance novel should not be given to a male and ask him to enjoy it, as such a brutal police killers book should not be given to a female and expect her to geniunely enjoy it. This book has left a deep scar on my ability to love liturature for the rest of my life and will not be easily healed.
I despair for humanity, really.
