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lizbeetitle: Very Important Fic About How Romana and Tonks Are In Love
summary: Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
rating: well, there's some swearing.
notes: references to Sirius/Remus and Doctor/Master. I'd like to say it was beta'd by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
gunderpants, but she was too lazy to read it. BECAUSE SHE SUCKS.
Very Important Fic About How Romana and Tonks Are In Love
by LizBee
"The thing is," said Tonks, "he thought he was being so noble. 'It's all for the best, Dora, you can do better'." She drained her glass. "Fucking wanker. I need another drink."
"At least," said Romana, "he didn't blow up your planet."
"There's that," Tonks admitted.
"Five hundred years in E-space. And I saved a lot of fucking planets, you know. And I get back into the real universe, and what do I find?"
"That your boyfriend has turned into a self-absorbed wanker who prefers passive-aggression to a proper relationship and actual shagging?"
"That," said Romana, "and he blew up my planet, and do you know what? He was shagging his worst enemy." She chewed meditatively on the olive from her martini. "He said that only the Master understood his profound planet-destroying-agony."
"He said he was going to spend his life mourning for Sirius's dead cock."
"Men," said Romana. "Personally, I think the Looms were a better option."
Tonks ordered another round of drinks. Champagne cocktails and martinis. She had decided not to think too much about the fact that Romana's martinis were blue. And the olives were bright green. On the other hand, Tonks had blue hair.
She drained her glass in one go and waggled her eyebrows. "My hair is blue, you know. *All* of my hair."
"Do you have something in your eye?"
"I'm waggling my eyebrows," said Tonks. "It means I'm making a sexual remark."
"It looked like you had something in your eye."
"Maybe I need to practice some more in front of the mirror."
"Probably." Romana sipped delicately at her martini, and ate another bright green olive. "I have a mirror in my TARDIS."
"I really like tapas," said Tonks. "Best idea the Muggles ever had."
"Wait until I show you the thirty-first century."
"Will there be cocktails?"
"There's a whole planetary economy based on cocktails." Romana considered. "Well, briefly. It only lasted a few years before it totally imploded, and then they banned alcohol all together. Actually, I think half the population in the cocktail years might be alcoholic time travellers, but--"
"Romana," said Tonks, "stop talking. I need to kiss you."
"Okay," said Romana.
So she did. And then they done sex, and travelled in time and drank a lot and lived happily ever after.
THE END
summary: Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa
rating: well, there's some swearing.
notes: references to Sirius/Remus and Doctor/Master. I'd like to say it was beta'd by
gunderpants, but she was too lazy to read it. BECAUSE SHE SUCKS.Very Important Fic About How Romana and Tonks Are In Love
by LizBee
"The thing is," said Tonks, "he thought he was being so noble. 'It's all for the best, Dora, you can do better'." She drained her glass. "Fucking wanker. I need another drink."
"At least," said Romana, "he didn't blow up your planet."
"There's that," Tonks admitted.
"Five hundred years in E-space. And I saved a lot of fucking planets, you know. And I get back into the real universe, and what do I find?"
"That your boyfriend has turned into a self-absorbed wanker who prefers passive-aggression to a proper relationship and actual shagging?"
"That," said Romana, "and he blew up my planet, and do you know what? He was shagging his worst enemy." She chewed meditatively on the olive from her martini. "He said that only the Master understood his profound planet-destroying-agony."
"He said he was going to spend his life mourning for Sirius's dead cock."
"Men," said Romana. "Personally, I think the Looms were a better option."
Tonks ordered another round of drinks. Champagne cocktails and martinis. She had decided not to think too much about the fact that Romana's martinis were blue. And the olives were bright green. On the other hand, Tonks had blue hair.
She drained her glass in one go and waggled her eyebrows. "My hair is blue, you know. *All* of my hair."
"Do you have something in your eye?"
"I'm waggling my eyebrows," said Tonks. "It means I'm making a sexual remark."
"It looked like you had something in your eye."
"Maybe I need to practice some more in front of the mirror."
"Probably." Romana sipped delicately at her martini, and ate another bright green olive. "I have a mirror in my TARDIS."
"I really like tapas," said Tonks. "Best idea the Muggles ever had."
"Wait until I show you the thirty-first century."
"Will there be cocktails?"
"There's a whole planetary economy based on cocktails." Romana considered. "Well, briefly. It only lasted a few years before it totally imploded, and then they banned alcohol all together. Actually, I think half the population in the cocktail years might be alcoholic time travellers, but--"
"Romana," said Tonks, "stop talking. I need to kiss you."
"Okay," said Romana.
So she did. And then they done sex, and travelled in time and drank a lot and lived happily ever after.
THE END
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 11:58 am (UTC)They should live happily ever after. Well, as happily ever after as one can. They both deserve better than the wankers, that's for sure.
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Date: 2007-10-27 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 12:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 01:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 03:19 pm (UTC)I think I'm in love with you and/or this fic.
Somehow all pairings with Romana immediately become my new OTPs...perhaps it's due to her extreme awesomeness.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 03:53 pm (UTC)(The part about mourning for Sirius' dead cock, especially, sent me into a fit of giggles, lol.)
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Date: 2007-10-27 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 06:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 09:42 pm (UTC)But I love it, and I can't find any place where I'd edit anything. Possibly because I still may be drunk, which has nothing to do with the fact I've poured myself another drink at 8am in the morning.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-27 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-28 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-28 12:59 am (UTC)SNERK.
Romana's better off with Tonks anyway. The last line is now canon, and nothing with change that. Hilarious work!
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Date: 2007-10-28 01:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-28 03:08 am (UTC)<3
no subject
Date: 2007-10-28 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-30 03:10 am (UTC)Love that line!