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lizbeeSummary: Donna has been rummaging around in the wardrobe room.
Rated: PG
Notes: One day I'll get around to vidding the Pipettes song that inspired the title, but until then, we'll just have to make do.
I Like A Girl In Uniform (School Uniform)
by LizBee
Donna's voice echoed through the TARDIS.
"AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS, THEN?"
"Is it that time already?" asked the Doctor.
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?" Donna demanded, but before he could answer, she brandished a pile of navy-blue fabrics and said, "and what the hell is all this?"
The Doctor cautiously turned over a tunic.
"A school uniform? Or three?"
"A SCHOOL UNIFORM!"
"Yes, that's what I said--"
"You told me," said Donna, shaking a tie in his face, "that you were not a serial killer, a stalker, or a pervert."
"Did I? In those words? Not that I'm any of those things," he added quickly, "but--"
"How many kids have you kidnapped?" Donna demanded. "You Martian pervert," she added.
"None!" the Doctor snapped. "I've never kidnapped -- well, there was Barbara and Ian, but they were teachers. And there was Jackie, one time, but that was an accident, believe me, and Adric -- no, he stowed away, that's right--"
"Well, then," said Donna, who had quickly learned the art of keeping the Doctor on a single conversational track, "whose are these, then?"
The Doctor picked up a tunic. "That was Romana's," he said. "And for your information, I didn't kidnap her, and she wasn't a schoolgirl, she just ... liked it. In a non-perverted way," he added quickly, because he'd picked up one or two things about Donna's conversational tactics, too. "She was entirely non-perverse. Well -- no, that was -- anyway, she was nearly a hundred and fifty, so it wasn't quite like cradle robbing."
"Uh huh," said Donna. "And this?"
"Turlough was seventy!" snapped the Doctor, "or something. I forget. Anyway, he wasn't human, either. And for your information, I didn't kidnap him -- he insinuated himself onto the TARDIS to kill me. So there."
"Sounds pretty sensible, if you ask me--"
"Which I didn't."
"So basically, you travel around with a lot of aliens who have school uniform fetishes."
"That's a complete misreading of the facts!"
Donna picked up the last uniform. "So who wore this one, a six-hundred-year-old transvestite from Venus?"
"That ... was Susan's. She was fifteen."
The Doctor had the forethought to step back, so Donna's slap barely touched him.
"She was my granddaughter!"
"That's disgusting!"
"...She only wore it to go to school. It's a school uniform. It's what people wear. When they go to school."
"--That's sick, that is, you ought to be locked up--"
Donna was storming off, practically dancing in her glee at having something new to hold over the Doctor. She was, he recognised wearily, going to get a lot of mileage out of this.
He wondered if he still had time to nip down to the wardrobe room, and hide all the maid's uniforms.
Rated: PG
Notes: One day I'll get around to vidding the Pipettes song that inspired the title, but until then, we'll just have to make do.
I Like A Girl In Uniform (School Uniform)
by LizBee
Donna's voice echoed through the TARDIS.
"AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS, THEN?"
"Is it that time already?" asked the Doctor.
"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?" Donna demanded, but before he could answer, she brandished a pile of navy-blue fabrics and said, "and what the hell is all this?"
The Doctor cautiously turned over a tunic.
"A school uniform? Or three?"
"A SCHOOL UNIFORM!"
"Yes, that's what I said--"
"You told me," said Donna, shaking a tie in his face, "that you were not a serial killer, a stalker, or a pervert."
"Did I? In those words? Not that I'm any of those things," he added quickly, "but--"
"How many kids have you kidnapped?" Donna demanded. "You Martian pervert," she added.
"None!" the Doctor snapped. "I've never kidnapped -- well, there was Barbara and Ian, but they were teachers. And there was Jackie, one time, but that was an accident, believe me, and Adric -- no, he stowed away, that's right--"
"Well, then," said Donna, who had quickly learned the art of keeping the Doctor on a single conversational track, "whose are these, then?"
The Doctor picked up a tunic. "That was Romana's," he said. "And for your information, I didn't kidnap her, and she wasn't a schoolgirl, she just ... liked it. In a non-perverted way," he added quickly, because he'd picked up one or two things about Donna's conversational tactics, too. "She was entirely non-perverse. Well -- no, that was -- anyway, she was nearly a hundred and fifty, so it wasn't quite like cradle robbing."
"Uh huh," said Donna. "And this?"
"Turlough was seventy!" snapped the Doctor, "or something. I forget. Anyway, he wasn't human, either. And for your information, I didn't kidnap him -- he insinuated himself onto the TARDIS to kill me. So there."
"Sounds pretty sensible, if you ask me--"
"Which I didn't."
"So basically, you travel around with a lot of aliens who have school uniform fetishes."
"That's a complete misreading of the facts!"
Donna picked up the last uniform. "So who wore this one, a six-hundred-year-old transvestite from Venus?"
"That ... was Susan's. She was fifteen."
The Doctor had the forethought to step back, so Donna's slap barely touched him.
"She was my granddaughter!"
"That's disgusting!"
"...She only wore it to go to school. It's a school uniform. It's what people wear. When they go to school."
"--That's sick, that is, you ought to be locked up--"
Donna was storming off, practically dancing in her glee at having something new to hold over the Doctor. She was, he recognised wearily, going to get a lot of mileage out of this.
He wondered if he still had time to nip down to the wardrobe room, and hide all the maid's uniforms.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-02 11:27 pm (UTC)One can only hope that TV!Donna will be as good as this.
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Date: 2008-03-02 11:42 pm (UTC)Can we please have a sequel in which Donna does manage to find the maid's uniforms?
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Date: 2008-03-03 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 12:43 am (UTC)WIN.
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Date: 2008-03-13 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 02:27 am (UTC)I'm sure I don't want to know what he was about to say, but WIN.
"So basically, you travel around with a lot of aliens who have school uniform fetishes."
YES. Yes, Donna, he does.
Oh, please be this awesome in The Show...
no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 06:18 am (UTC)I so want Donna to be this awesomesauce...
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Date: 2008-03-03 07:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 09:29 am (UTC)It's possible I love you more than anything. Even basil pesto.
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Date: 2008-03-03 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 08:01 pm (UTC)Am suddenly in need of a Turlough/Romana II school uniform icon.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-03 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-04 09:35 pm (UTC)HE DID ROMANA!!!
Anyway, I see you're a fan of the Dresden Dolls, as well as Weimar Berlin (another member of
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Date: 2008-03-13 05:07 am (UTC)Quite amused! And holy shit, check out her tits in that top. Ahem.
no subject
Date: 2008-03-26 07:07 pm (UTC)