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lizbeeMy HBP review for the ABC is now up here. I'm afraid to listen to it, as I woke up in the early hours of the morning in a panic, having dreamt that I'd said something so deeply offensive that even as I stared blearily at the walls, ninja assassins were on their way to remove me from society forever.
What? Doesn't everyone have a moment like that once in a while?
...ETA: Erm, there is no link to the actual audiofile yet. Why? Budget cuts? Incompetence? Premature linking? *facepalm*
In other news, I wrote a Doctor Who fic to commemorate the release of HBP. Why? Why on earth not?
By LizBeeeeeeeee
Spoilers: Through to "The Doctor Dances", I guess. She said half-heartedly. Oh, and some little book called Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Including what amounts to spec for book 7.
They aimed for central London at midnight; they actually arrived at three-thirty in the afternoon, somewhere near Acton.
"Not to worry," the Doctor said as they made their way towards the counter. "We've missed the crowds."
"The crowds were half the fun," Rose muttered.
The salesgirl gave her an amused look as she scanned the book. "Another one," she said.
"Oh … this is for my … little sister."
"Of course," the girl said.
Jack, on the other hand, gave her a charming grin as he slapped his book down, saying, "This one's for me."
"You too?" Rose asked.
"What, you think I don't read? These are childhood classics. Grew up with them. And," he added as they left the store, "genuine first editions are worth a fortune."
"Right. I should have guessed. What about you, Doctor? Not buying one?"
"I'll have you know, I've read the whole series four times. In three dimensions. Including the one where where Dumbledore turns out to have been evil all along. That version was rubbish, though."
As they returned to the TARDIS, Jack said, "Wait … isn't that the version everyone knows?"
Rose rolled her eyes and left them to it. She had a book to read.
Twenty-four hours later, she was still reading. The Doctor stopped by her room.
"You up for a quick trip to—"
"Later."
"'Later'? You don't even know what I was asking!" He leaned in the doorway and watched her read for a few minutes. "The whole universe doesn't come to a screeching halt just because the new Harry Potter book comes out, you know. That's strictly limited to Earth." He considered. "Well, and Karona V. The meta-lifeforms there have based their entire civilisation on human popular culture."
Rose looked up. "I bet all the other aliens beat them up and take their lunch money."
"Nah, only the humans. Actually, there was a funny misunderstanding about that in the twenty-third century. Great fun. Want to go see?"
"Later," said Rose, and returned her attention to her book.
The Doctor made his way back to the console room, where Jack was shaking his head, saying, "This all makes so much more sense now! I'm going to have to replace all my books…"
The Doctor turned around and walked out again.
A day later, Rose entered the console room, sniffling.
"You all right?" the Doctor asked, handing her a clean hankie.
"I never did trust that Snape fellow," she said. "And now I have to wait for the next one to come out…" She trailed off, giving the Doctor a pointed look.
"No," he said. "Absolutely not. The purpose of time travel is not to let you skip ahead in the Harry Potter books." Well, he amended mentally, it wasn't the only purpose, anyway. "Anyway, I can tell you how it ends. Harry turns out to be the last Horcrux, and he defeats Voldemort, and Jo Rowling spend the rest of her life writing moderately successful thrillers under the name Joanne R. Murray."
"You know," said Jack thoughtfully, "I've heard the Face of Boe would pay good money for a complete set of pristine signed first editions…"
For the second time in as many days, the Doctor fled his own console room.
At least, he thought, sooner or later, someone would figure out that the TARDIS library contained the complete series. And then it would be all over, bar the crying, and he could have some peace again.
end
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Date: 2005-07-19 01:28 am (UTC)This is brilliant. :)
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Date: 2005-07-19 04:56 am (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2005-07-19 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 04:57 am (UTC)I'm so impressed by that accomplishment that I'm just about speechless.
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Date: 2005-07-19 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 02:25 am (UTC)Is there an echo in here?
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Date: 2005-07-19 04:58 am (UTC)YOU WIN AT THE INTERNETS!!!!1111
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Date: 2005-07-19 03:05 am (UTC)I had the same theory about Harry; probably comes from all the rumors way back when about the 'in essence divided' phrase. But something's niggling at the back of my brain about it. *must read whole thing again*
Evil Dumbledore: bahahaha!!
the TARDIS library contained the complete series
Yet another reason to search the streets for stray police boxes.
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Date: 2005-07-19 05:00 am (UTC)I've seen a lot of Harry-as-Horcrux theories in the last few days. If you figure out what niggles you about them, I'd dearly love to know.
Glad you liked the fic. *grin*
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Date: 2005-07-19 03:24 am (UTC)Did the Doctor manage to say whether or not the seventh book was any better than HBP? :-(
Hope you'll let us know when the audio link is up. Cheers.
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Date: 2005-07-19 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 03:53 am (UTC)Absolutely brilliant!
*applause*
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Date: 2005-07-19 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 05:02 am (UTC)Thanks! You're the very first person since my 9th grade drama teacher to tell me so!
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Date: 2005-07-19 05:56 am (UTC)Who are you to doubt it?
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Date: 2005-07-19 06:00 am (UTC)*looks confused*
*reads*
Brilliant! Ok, I need to stop quoting Ron. ;) I absolutely loved this. I can just see how exasperated the Doctor would get.
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Date: 2005-07-23 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 09:21 am (UTC)Giggles
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Date: 2005-07-23 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-19 01:41 pm (UTC), sooner or later, someone would figure out that the TARDIS library contained the complete series
I knew there was a good reason I wanted to be a time traveller
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Date: 2005-07-19 06:24 pm (UTC)I was waiting for someone to write something like this, and then you did it and it kicked ass and YAY!
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Date: 2005-07-20 03:37 am (UTC)Spoilers HP 6
Date: 2005-07-20 06:46 pm (UTC)I bought 3 copies of this tedious tome and heard all three hit the wall at or about the H ... drinking scene. The littles also known as my nephews retrieved their copy and retreated into my mothers room to continue to read it to each other. The girls kept mumbling on the porch and I sent them to the library. I kept on reading after using my reacher to retrieve it from the garbage. After a few minutes I heard Patrick [9] shriek... dead ... and look who did it; no. The girls were whimpering no and I tossed my copy at the wall again. After a second retrieval we all finished the book, had a huge fourteen person cuddle; put our thumbs in our mouths and grabbed our security blankies. I noticed that the two Christmas present copies had been left behind. On phoning the kids they told me to send them to the local library as in branch reading copies and that they hoped the other kids wouldn't be as angry with the book as they were. So, as you can see; We were not amused.
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Date: 2005-07-22 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 09:32 pm (UTC)Rose looked up. "I bet all the other aliens beat them up and take their lunch money."
Heh. Lovely!
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Date: 2005-07-22 09:40 pm (UTC)(sorry for randomly dropping by, I was linked to it and just HAD to review!)
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Date: 2005-07-22 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-26 06:54 pm (UTC)As for the interview, your accent is lovely.
ROTFL
Date: 2007-07-04 10:35 pm (UTC)I'm curious how Jack got his hands on those alternate universe books. :)