lizbee: A sketch of myself (Default)
[personal profile] lizbee
Cheer Up, Emo Time Moppet
Chapter 4: Like Sands Through the Hourglass


Summary: In which everything is wrapped up to the satisfaction of all hardly anyone.
Disclaimer: Characters, situations, robot dogs, TARDISes and Sarah Jane's Buffy DVDs are the property of the BBC.
Notes: Now with 877% more oppression!


Chapter 1
Chapter 1.5
Chapter 2
Chapter 3





Cheer Up, Emo Time Moppet
Chapter Four: Like Sands Through the Hourglass



It turned out that the Doctor's definition of “back soon” was unlike any Livia had ever encountered before.

“He promised to come back for Sarah Jane, too,” Rose said quietly that evening, “and he did – twenty years later.”

“My mother won't let him do that,” said Livia.

“He's always had a bit of trouble with the TARDIS,” said Sarah Jane as she prepared dinner. “Always out by a few minutes, or hours, or centuries.”

“My mother's a very good temporal navigator,” said Livia.

“The Doctor Master is highly unpredictable,” said K9 as Livia prepared for bed that night.

“Don't you start,” said Livia.

Sarah Jane said they were welcome to stay as long as they wanted, but on the third day – when Livia's K9 unit went a bit too far into the Internet and picked up several virii and some very bad language – she began to look a bit ... testy. Livia, Rose and K9 decamped to Rose's mother's home.

“And how'd you fall in with this lot, then?” Jackie asked over dinner.

“The Doctor's an old friend of my mother's,” was all Livia said, and although Jackie was clearly unhappy at leaving it at that, she let Rose steer the conversation in other directions.

“Thanks,” Rose said later. “She'd get all ... funny. You know.”

Livia didn't, but she wasn't going to admit it.

She and Rose split their days between shopping and watching television, until Friday, when Jackie kicked them out because she had a date.

“Mum!”

“Well, I'm not going to stop living my life because you're in another galaxy, and I'm not bringing him home to find two girls and a robot dog hanging around.” Jackie paused. “Where is that dog, anyway? We're not supposed to have pets in here.”

“I am not a pet,” K9 protested, emerging from a tangle of wires extruding from a power point. “I am a mobile computer unit.”

“You're shaped like a--!” Jackie broke off mid-sentence, and turned to Livia. “He's shaped like a dog!”

“I suppose it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“I can't believe you're chucking us out on the street because you have a date,” Rose complained as she repacked her bag.

“Maybe if you did the dishes once in a while ... cleaned up your mess ... maybe bought some groceries once in a while ... just because you've decided to visit this planet for once doesn't mean anything else changes.”

They left rather quickly after that, and retreated to Sarah Jane's couch to eat chocolate and watch Buffy.

“I wish I was special,” said Livia darkly.

“You're one of three Time Lords in the entire universe,” suggested Rose.

“It's not the same.”

Livia had privately hoped her parents wouldn't return until after they had watched all of Sarah Jane's Buffy DVDs. Three days after they'd run out of DVDs, she was beginning to regret that. She was almost, but not quite, bored enough to ask K9 for tutoring, and Rose was beginning to talk idly about doing her A levels.

“You could come along with me if you're that bored,” said Sarah Jane over dinner. “Children have been disappearing in Swindon. I've been looking into it.”

“Aliens?” asked Rose hopefully.

Sarah Jane shrugged. “Or a psychopath.”

“So when do we leave?” Livia demanded, “tonight?”

Sarah Jane and Rose exchanged a look.

“Not you, Livia,” said Sarah Jane gently. “I'm sorry, but I can't expose a child--”

“I'm not a child!”

“--or even a young adult to that sort of ugliness.”

Livia scowled. “I'm not scared,” she said. “I've seen Rose's mother first thing in the morning--”

“Oy!”

“--Not to mention my mother after she disembowelled a rabid tentacle creature.”

“It's your mother,” said Sarah Jane, “that I'm worried about. But,” she added quickly, “we can discuss it again in the morning if you like.”

“Fine,” Livia muttered.

She came down early the next morning, but the house was empty but for the two K9s. Sitting on the table was a note:

Dear Livia,
Gone to hunt aliens, or possibly psychopaths. There's leftover macaroni in the fridge.
Sarah Jane and Rose
PS. The K9s have strict orders not to let you out of the house. Terribly sorry, but your mother would murder us if she found out we'd taken you along, and we only have one life each.


Livia looked up from the note. The K9s were watching her closely, their ear sensors rotating in unison.

“Don't bother,” she said, “I can't be bothered escaping.”

She sat on the sofa and watched “Becoming” four times. If she were special, and had a tortured lover to cast into Hell, then she'd be happy.

*

Late on Friday evening, or early on Saturday morning, she was woken by the sound of a TARDIS materialising downstairs. She crawled out of bed and stood at the top of the stairs.

“There,” she heard the Doctor say, “that wasn't so bad, was it?”

“It's the middle of the night.” Livia's mother sounded more amused than angry, which was probably a good sign.

“I never promised perfection.”

“No, I suppose you didn't.” Now her mother sounded like she was on the edge of laughter. “Well there's no point in waking everyone up. I'm going back to bed.” She must have been walking away, because her voice was indistinct when she spoke again. Livia heard the TARDIS door close with a soft click.

She, too, went back to bed, and burrowed far beneath the blankets until the sound of her heartsbeats was loud in her ears.

*

The sun was just rising when Livia woke up again, but she could hear someone moving about downstairs. And singing. There was definitely singing.

The lyrics became distinguishable as she crept downstairs:

Dadadada can never remember that line,
And Rassilon's rod was in great demand,
Can't remember that line, something about keys,
But Omega preferred to use his hand.


The Doctor was cooking breakfast as he sang, achieving both with more proficiency than skill. He stopped singing when he saw Livia standing in the doorway. The tops of his ears turned red.

“Morning,” he said. “I'm making breakfast.”

“I can see that.” In addition to the bacon, eggs and toast, there was a pile of some unfamiliar fruit. Its dark red skin matched the stains on her father's tie. She sat down at the kitchen table. “Have you sorted it all out with Mother, then?”

“Oh yes. Didn't take long at all, barring a couple of alien invasions and the odd political revolution. Do you like your yolks hard or soft?”

“I don't know. I've never had eggs. The aliens must have been dangerous.”

“What makes you say that?”

“There's a bite mark on your neck.”

His ears turned red. “I fought 'em off all right,” he muttered.

“Did you have a fight with my mother?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“What sort of a manner of speaking?” Rose entered the kitchen. She pulled a face at the Doctor by way of greeting and sat up on the bench.

“Morning, Rose. Remember how I promised to take you to the crystal cliffs of Altara Four?”

“That sing in sunset, yeah.”

“Well, the trip's off. The cliffs aren't precisely there anymore.” He looked more pleased than ashamed.

“You destroyed a planetary artifact while you were having a fight?” Livia demanded.

“No, the Sontarans destroyed it while they were invading. Caught us right in the middle of an argument which I was about to win with my quick wits and perfect recall.”

“So you were losing,” said Sarah Jane, doing up the cord of her dressing gown and leaning against the doorframe.

“In a word, yes. But then the Sontarans showed up, and someone thought it would be clever to use the resonance of the crystal cliffs to mirror their weapons.” He turned to Rose, who was sniffing at his alien red fruit. “Nice stuff, that. Try it with some sugar. Grows on some human colonies. On one planet, they use it in their wedding ceremonies.”

Rose, who had just taken a bite of the fruit, spat it out and said, “We're not married now, are we? 'Cos my mother will kill you for not inviting her.”

“Nah, you have to eat it while dancing around a candle in the moonlight. Well, a set of candles, really. Bit of a fire hazard.”

Something compelled Rose, Sarah Jane and Livia to look down. The cuffs of his trousers were slightly singed. Rose was making a choking noise, but Livia's mind was still on the Sontarans.

“Why didn't the weapons mirror work?” Livia asked. “Mother's very good at calculating resonance patterns.”

“Who said it didn't work? No more Sontarans. No more cliffs, either. Turns out they were glass, not crystal, and the whole singing effect came from hiding choirs behind the cliffs. The Altaran authorities weren't exactly pleased that the truth had come out.” The Doctor flipped an egg and tilted his head thoughtfully. “Persona non grata is such a harsh phrase, don't you think?”

“Ingrates,” said Romana, sweeping in. “We should have left them to the Sontarans.”

“I thought it was funny.”

“I thought I was going to regenerate, I was so embarrassed.” She picked up a piece of fruit and sat down at the table, peeling it neatly. “After that,” she said, “there didn't seem much point in arguing. So we went sight-seeing.”

Sight-seeing?” said Livia.

“Well, it's been a long time since I was last in this universe.” She reached up into her uncharacteristically messy hair, pulled a butterfly-shaped pin from the tangles and looked at it oddly.

Rose was making choking noises again.

“Where did you go?” Sarah Jane asked.

“Oh, here and there. We spent some time in Paris, that was nice.” Romana smiled at the Doctor. “It always seems to come back to Paris with you.”

“It's a nice city.”

“I was glad to get out of those corsets, though. The men's clothes were much better.”

“You almost gave the king a heart attack.”

“Is it my fault he's never met a Time Lady in breeches before? And what was he saying about mechanical men attacking--”

“Here, Rose,” said the Doctor quickly, handing her a glass of water, “this should take care of those hiccups.”

“This is all very nice,” said Livia, “but when are you going to explain how you came to get married?”

An awkward silence fell. Glances were exchanged.

“Oh, look,” said the Doctor, “breakfast. Who wants breakfast?”

“We were building up to telling you,” said Romana gently.

“When? Next year?”

Rose had the hiccups again.

“I mean, you can't just go making a big change like that without telling anyone! You didn't even invite me!”

“It seemed like the best possible option for everyone,” explained her mother. “You get a proper family, we get--” She was apparently unable to articulate what she got, because she just smiled and backtracked. “Everyone will be happy this way.”

Rose was beginning to sound as if she was in serious distress.

“You didn't even tell me,” said Livia.

“I'm sorry.”

“I mean, if you're going to go and give someone exactly what they've always secretly wanted, you should give them some warning first.”

“I'll keep that in mind for next time.”

Livia brooded for a moment. “I hope you're not thinking of having any more children,” she added. “That would just be embarrassing.”

Her parents probably intended the look they exchanged to be inscrutable, but they failed entirely. Livia stood up.

“I can't believe you're doing this to me!” she shrieked. “It's not fair! It's the most unfair thing I've ever heard! Do you hate me?”

“Nobody hates you, Livia,” said her father.

“Then why are you ruining my life?” she demanded. “Just when it's starting to be perfect! I might as well stay on Earth and work in a shop for all you two care.” She stomped out of the room, and paused in the doorway to turn and add, “and I hate both of you and I wish I were dead.”

As she made her way upstairs, she heard her mother say, “Yes, she gets like that sometimes. I've always assumed it came from your side of the family.”

Livia slammed the door as loudly as she could, but she had the uncomfortable feeling that no one cared.


THE END




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Date: 2006-07-14 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cesario.livejournal.com
this. is the best fic. ever.

ever.

Date: 2006-07-15 10:00 pm (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*nods* I know. I know.

Date: 2006-07-15 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com

She sat on the sofa and watched “Becoming” four times. If she were special, and had a tortured lover to cast into Hell, then she'd be happy.


*dies*

Date: 2006-07-15 10:02 pm (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*revives*

Date: 2006-07-15 01:29 am (UTC)
tellitslant: agatha making a shushing gesture (Default)
From: [personal profile] tellitslant
Oh, this is exactly what I needed this evening. *giggles helplessly* This is hilarious and sweet and just plain awesome in turns.

“I thought I was going to regenerate, I was so embarrassed.” is a great line.

I'm kind of sad this is over! *g*

Date: 2006-07-15 10:04 pm (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*grin* I'm so glad you like it. And I'm sad it's over too, especially since now I should be writing serious fics, and I just keep coming up with new comedy.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] rimwalker.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-08-10 08:56 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-15 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peacockharpy.livejournal.com
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so much love! I finally snatched the time to read the rest of it. BRILLIANT.

Come to think of it, we've been watching Warrior's Gate here, and I really would love to ignore the pile of work and watch the rest of it...

Date: 2006-07-15 10:08 pm (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
Oh, I love "Warrior's Gate", although I'm lame enough that the ending makes me cry. *envies*

(I'm glad you liked the fic, yes.)

Date: 2006-07-15 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] friede.livejournal.com
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.

Thus, promiscuous use of caps...

Date: 2006-07-15 10:10 pm (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
Caps are good. I like caps...

Date: 2006-07-15 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rj-anderson.livejournal.com
“I wish I was special,” said Livia darkly.

“You're one of three Time Lords in the entire universe,” suggested Rose.

“It's not the same.”


*laughs self sick*

*has to be hospitalized*

Genius.

You do realize that this is going to be the "Vodkamort" of Who fandom, and you will probably get more reviews for it than all your serious fics put together?

Date: 2006-07-16 03:35 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
I have suspected as much, yes. But I just found a thread where someone's rec was countered by apathy, so my ego is thoroughly in check.

Date: 2006-07-15 03:19 am (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Love, dude! It is shiny and witty and I Still Like Livia. Despite her questionable taste in telly.

Date: 2006-07-16 03:37 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
I promise that if I ever write Doctor/Romana babyfic again, their spawn will be far less likable. Perhaps their son could grow up to become the Master or something? That would make for awkward Christmas Day gatherings.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] prof-pangaea.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-19 06:27 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-15 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sff-corgi.livejournal.com
“Nah, you have to eat it while dancing around a candle in the moonlight. Well, a set of candles, really. Bit of a fire hazard.”

Something compelled Rose, Sarah Jane and Livia to look down. The cuffs of his trousers were slightly singed.


I can just absolutely see the blocking on this. LOVE sight gags of this sort. :D I feel so left behind, though! Everybody else is getting to watch all the wonderfulness that's spawned this wonderfulness!

Oh, well. This is almost better. ^_^

Date: 2006-07-16 03:38 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
If it's any consolation, by the end of the season this bore so little relationship to canon that I would have abandoned it if it had been a serious fic. So just think of it as inhabiting its own little bubble universe.

Date: 2006-07-15 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kismeteve.livejournal.com
*dies laughing*

Date: 2006-07-16 03:38 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*hovers anxiously, awaiting regeneration*

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] kismeteve.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-17 01:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-15 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aervir.livejournal.com
Ahahahahaha!

Date: 2006-07-16 03:39 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*grins widely like Tom Baker*

Date: 2006-07-15 07:13 am (UTC)
tree_and_leaf: Watercolour of barn owl perched on post. (Default)
From: [personal profile] tree_and_leaf
This has been such an amusing fic - I shall miss the Emo Time Muppet. I'm very happy for her parents, but I can't help feeling a little bit sorry for Rose....

Date: 2006-07-15 09:19 am (UTC)
kerravonsen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kerravonsen
Naw. I'm not sorry for Rose at all. Rose lost all her sympathy points due to certain sections of certain episodes this year...

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-16 03:41 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lydaclunas.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-16 03:20 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2006-07-18 10:17 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-15 09:16 am (UTC)
kerravonsen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kerravonsen
*snerk*

I'm sorry, I'm not going to let you leave it at that. I'm going to nag you for more. 8-)

Date: 2006-07-16 03:42 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*sigh* [livejournal.com profile] cesario has already made a viable suggestion for a sequel, too. I shall consider it.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] kerravonsen - Date: 2006-07-16 04:25 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lydaclunas.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-16 03:23 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-15 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melata-fic.livejournal.com
What is that song based on? *curious* I was reading, vaguely interested, and then he started singing, and I started laughing and didn't stop.

Date: 2006-07-16 03:45 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
It's not really based on anything. For ages I've wanted to write bawdy Time Lord drinking songs about Rassilon's rod and the Hand of Omega. Of course, since I'm not actually very good at writing verse, the Doctor had to forget most of the words, but at least I've finally fulfilled that dream.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] melata-fic.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-07-16 10:20 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-07-17 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-smurf.livejournal.com
She sat on the sofa and watched “Becoming” four times. If she were special, and had a tortured lover to cast into Hell, then she'd be happy.

::coughs:: I've never done this. Ever. really. Never ever never. ::coughs:: *runs away*

...I loved this. Loved it loved it loved it. Each part got better and made me bounce more and laugh and it makes me grin every time I think of them. *goes back to reread for the nth time*

Date: 2006-07-17 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madderbrad.livejournal.com
Rose was beginning to sound as if she was in serious distress.

Heh. I loved the whole Rose-reacting sequence as the truth came out, bit by bit. Classic comedy.

Date: 2006-07-17 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tavella.livejournal.com
This is deeply, deeply hysterical. And I still like Livia. Despite her emo-ness.

Date: 2006-07-17 04:42 pm (UTC)
fyrdrakken: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken
You make me wish a bit for the scenes of what was going on offscreen during that lengthy argument/invasion/wedding. Though the less-is-more approach of this installment was probably better in storytelling terms. Also, loved the drinking song with a great and impure love.

Date: 2006-07-18 02:38 pm (UTC)
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (Default)
From: [personal profile] my_daroga
“I wish I was special,” said Livia darkly.

"But I'm a creep... I'm a weirdo..." I hope Livia's using this opportunity to bone up on Radiohead as well as Buffy. (Priceless, that is. I always wonder what fictional characters think of other fictional fandoms).

This is awesome. And I have complete confidence that, should you desire to, you could make a serious DW baby!fic.

Date: 2006-07-19 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prof-pangaea.livejournal.com
this story is the best story of all stories.

you are a dextrous wordsmith, and i mean that in the most serious and respectful of ways.

Date: 2006-07-29 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cherryice.livejournal.com
I am catching up from enforced computer absence, and I was so very glad to see this. I have so very much love for this entire story -- it, and its protagonist, are incredibly charming. If there would be more, I would be sure to read it greedily.

I tend to rather adore your stories, and I find your journal interesting, so I'm friendslisting you. I hope you don't mind.

Date: 2006-08-10 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mythverdandi.livejournal.com
I love you just a little bit.


*glances around* *reads fic again*

Date: 2006-08-11 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pbristow.livejournal.com

OK, caught up, and... Loved it! Loved it loved it loved it. =:o> All of it. All four bits. Especially the eavesdropping bit, and the line about Adric [*CHOKE*], and... well, all of this one, but especially the singed trousers and messy Romana hair.

And now... Awwww..... No more Emo Time Moppet? =:o{

[IS SAD]

Date: 2006-08-15 11:56 am (UTC)
aberrantangels: (Default)
From: [personal profile] aberrantangels
[is also sad, but tells himself it's just the end of a story, not of a character]

Date: 2006-08-16 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] padmez.livejournal.com
You = Genius

That is all.

Date: 2006-09-26 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ruisseau.livejournal.com
This was awesome-ness personified.

Teenagers

Date: 2007-04-20 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
You know, the character in this story sounds remarkably like the daughter of a friend of mine. Which is a bit frightening because she's now in her twenties and sounds exactly like she did in her teenage years.

You don't suppose she's a young time lord, do you?
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