lizbee | Memetastic! And fic!

From

yahtzee63: Make up a title for a story I didn't write, and I will respond withdetails of those non-written stories. You may, if you like, include details, such as pairings or fandom or whatnot.

Also, I am thinking of issuing a challenge. And

theregoesyamum has suggested that I should write some Snape/Hermione. So:

Generic Snape/Hermione Fic by LizBee

Hermione was in the library. Probably reading. Snape walked past, his black robes making a manly swishing noise. Passing her, he said something rude under his breath, because he was a mature, professional kind of guy.

"I hate that man," Hermione thought, crossing her legs.

Meanwhile, Ron and Harry were behaving like clowns. Not the funny/scary/horrific circus kind of clown, just the moronic teenager kind of clown.

"I wish I knew some real men," Hermione thought, chewing on her quill. "Some manly, professional and mature men whose robes swish when they walk and who ooze manly grease from every pore."

By a funny coincidence, Snape was slightly telepathic. This came from the mermish side of his heritage, because mermaids are all telepathic in order to facilitate communication at great depths, and also because it's kind of cool. A little bit of telepathy and a tendency to grow scales in embarrassing places was the only outward sign of Snape's non-human heritage. He had also inherited a vast magical estate, but since it was somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic, it wasn't doing much good for anyone.

Anyway. Snape happened to overhear Hermione's internal monologue, because he quite enjoyed poking around in the private thoughts of teenage girls, just because. And on hearing of Hermione's need for a manly greasy manlover, he threw himself out of the library window and ran screaming down to the lake. He dived beneath the waves and threw himself into the welcoming arms of the giant squid, and teenage girl-free oblivion.

THE END