lizbee: A sketch of myself (Default)
[personal profile] lizbee
Snakes on Crack

Summary: Harry has had with these ... oh, you know.
Disclaimer: JKR. Some movie. You know.
Warnings: Contains swearing.



"Okay," said Harry. "Everyone just calm down. If we all relax, no one will get hurt. By accident or," his eyes glinted, "deliberately. Am I clear?"

There was a general mutter of assent.

Harry turned around with the satisfaction of a job well done, and found himself staring at a compartment full of horrified Muggles and bemused wizards.

"Parseltongue," Harry said. "It's dead useful." He raised his voice. "And if anyone so much as thinks of casting serpensortia, they're walking. Get it?"

No one dared to disagree.

Harry threw himself back into his seat and reached for the in-flight magazine. "I've had it," he said, "with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane." He looked up added loudly, "that goes for you too, Slytherins."

Pansy had the decency to look slightly ashamed. It was, Harry felt, better than nothing.

"Next time," he said, "I'm going by broom."

Date: 2006-08-28 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gunderpants.livejournal.com
So less than three.

Date: 2006-08-28 09:56 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
Harry's a bad Gryffindor mofo, yeah.

Date: 2006-08-28 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purple-smurf.livejournal.com
*dies laughing*

Date: 2006-08-28 10:41 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
*revives you*

Date: 2006-08-28 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drakyndra.livejournal.com
Well, that just wins the Universe and becomes the first fanfic for my next links list.

Date: 2006-08-28 10:50 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
YAY! For I have been secretly hoping to make it onto your links list since, oh, I first read it.

*does a snakey victory dance*

Date: 2006-08-28 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drakyndra.livejournal.com
Snakes on a Plane related crack will always make it onto the list. ALWAYS.

And this made me LOL.

Date: 2006-08-28 11:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melata-fic.livejournal.com
I'm wondering what would cause Slytherins to travel by plane, but still giggling. :D

Date: 2006-08-28 11:02 am (UTC)
ext_6531: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizbee.livejournal.com
Drugs? Convenience? Plot device for comedic effect?

Date: 2006-08-28 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melata-fic.livejournal.com
Any of them work, really. *grin* Especially the first.

Date: 2006-08-28 03:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cesario.livejournal.com
*stares at you*

Just when I start sleeping normal hours, you prove, definitively, that I should never, ever leave you alone again.

*prepares to sit up until 5 am*

Date: 2006-08-28 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] izhilzha.livejournal.com
Ahahahahahahaa....

Wow, I should know better than to read your stuff at work by now. *still chortling*

Date: 2006-08-28 05:14 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-08-28 05:17 pm (UTC)
tree_and_leaf: Watercolour of barn owl perched on post. (Default)
From: [personal profile] tree_and_leaf
*dies*

Date: 2006-08-28 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedorkygirl.livejournal.com
heee! I need to see that movie, yo. My flist is crazy over it.

Date: 2006-08-28 07:41 pm (UTC)
fyrdrakken: (Default)
From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken
I'm wishing for the "Parseltongue, motherfucker -- do you speak it?!" icon right now just so I could comment using it. Brilliant!

Date: 2006-08-28 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] significantowl.livejournal.com
*giggles* perfect.

Date: 2006-08-28 09:56 pm (UTC)
ext_14783: girl underwater (Default)
From: [identity profile] lavinialavender.livejournal.com
Ahahaha, brilliant idea!

And it was funny, at first I thought your location was "SPORKS ON A FLAME."

Date: 2006-08-29 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madderbrad.livejournal.com
Excellent, great idea!!

Date: 2006-08-29 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mark356.livejournal.com
Perfect!

Date: 2006-08-29 07:17 pm (UTC)
my_daroga: Mucha's "Dance" (Default)
From: [personal profile] my_daroga
Way funnier than it has a right to be. I give it two thumbs up!

Date: 2007-06-26 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloodrebel333.livejournal.com
Oh the glee. *loves*

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