lizbee | Fic post: Snakes on Crack (HP)

Snakes on Crack

Summary: Harry has had with these ... oh, you know.
Disclaimer: JKR. Some movie. You know.
Warnings: Contains swearing.

"Okay," said Harry. "Everyone just calm down. If we all relax, no one will get hurt. By accident or," his eyes glinted, "deliberately. Am I clear?"

There was a general mutter of assent.

Harry turned around with the satisfaction of a job well done, and found himself staring at a compartment full of horrified Muggles and bemused wizards.

"Parseltongue," Harry said. "It's dead useful." He raised his voice. "And if anyone so much as thinks of casting serpensortia, they're walking. Get it?"

No one dared to disagree.

Harry threw himself back into his seat and reached for the in-flight magazine. "I've had it," he said, "with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane." He looked up added loudly, "that goes for you too, Slytherins."

Pansy had the decency to look slightly ashamed. It was, Harry felt, better than nothing.

"Next time," he said, "I'm going by broom."