Screencap recap: "The Tudors" episode 1.01
Sep. 2nd, 2008 10:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lizbeeI think The Tudors is pretty win in its cracktastic crackability, and here are some screencaps to demonstrate why. Lots of screencaps, actually. Over 50. I may have gotten a bit carried away.
Here is Sean Pertwee.
He's in Italy, being the Ambassador to somewhere in Italy. (It was only made up of city-states back then. I know, because of my learnings. Specifically eleventh grade modern history.) Sean's glum because he's about to be murdered by the French. Also because it's sort of uncanny how he only vaguely resembles his father, but sounds just like him.
Here's Henry VIII, as played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers:
THE RESEMBLANCE IS AMAZING, RIGHT?
Henry's bummed because Sean Pertwee, who was also his uncle, is dead. He's all like, "WE TOTALLY GO WAR ON FRANCE NOW, OKAY?"
Among Henry's advisors is Sam Neill:
He has a natty little hat, on account of how he's supposed to be Cardinal Wolsey. As you can see, he's already mid-scheme.
Then there's Thomas More (he's not a "Sir" yet), played by Jeremy "MORE HANDSOME THAN YOU" Northam. He, too, has a little hat, and spends a lot of time looking neutral and long-suffering:
WE ARE BEING NEUTRAL TOGETHER!
Then there's the Duke of Buckingham. He's bitter because his family was on the wrong side in the War of the Roses, and he could have been king if they'd won.
But he's not very interesting. MOAR WOLSEY AND MORE!
Anyway, the King is all, "Okay, war, that's awesome. BRB, BEIN A MANWHORE!"
Pay attention to that foot; you'll see more of her later.
Wolsey is off to meet with the French, on account of how he's not so down with this whole "war on France" scheme.
Here's Queen Katherine:
In real life, she was fair-skinned and red-haired, but most people get as far as reading that she's Spanish, and stereotypes fill in the rest. Although the actress here is Irish. Katherine is an intelligent, attractive older woman, so let's assume things aren't going to go well for her.
Katherine is anti-France and anti-Wolsey, which pisses Henry off because she's of the wrong gender to have opinions.
And this is Lady Elizabeth Blount, owner of the foot we saw earlier:
Isn't she pretty? She's one of Katherine's ladies-in-waiting, which is awkward, on account of how Henry is shagging her.
Katherine prays (in English) for a healthy son...
...while Henry's off being a cock-jockey with Bessie Blount.
Wolsey, meanwhile, is being creepy:
Although that's only a small taste of just how creepy Sam Neill can be:
MOAR WOLSEY PLS!
Gratuitous Katherine, 'cos she's my favourite:
Meanwhile, Henry has donned his best carpet...
And gone to pay a visit to the Mores.
I wish Jeremy Northam would hug me... where was I? Oh yes, look at his family!
Henry and Thomas have a long conversation.
About war.
Humanism.
History.
Upholstery.
More is all, "You were such a good kid when you were younger. I'm secretly a bit disappointed in you."
Then he stops to be handsome.
More handsomeness!
Meanwhile, blah blah Buckingham, treason, nothing worse than embittered royals yearning for the good old days instead of going out and getting a job.
Wolsey, meanwhile, is writing fic. I mean scheming.
He's just found out that Lady Blount is pregnant.
He makes an offhand remark about bastards, that hurts her (but I didn't screencap it because I was distracted by OMG SAM NEILL)...
And then he goes back to writing hardcore Doctor/Master smut.
Later, we find him putting his plans to Henry.
"OH HAI," he's saying, "UNITING FRANCE AND ENGLAND IS TOTES BETTER THAN GOING TO WAR."
Thomas More is all, "I must look neutral and slightly disapproving, also handsome in my natty hat."
But he's in favour of the bit where a united France and England can be a beacon of enlightenment and education and shit.
Here he is, with his family.
Then he retreats to his room for prayer. Which involves pulling his shirt off to reveal a self-flagellated back. Just like the albino in The Da Vinci Code, only handsome instead of hilarious.
HE R SRS CHRISTIAN. THESE R SRS SCARS. Oh, stereotypes.
Then there is prayer.
In Latin.
Why does More pray in Latin, when Katherine prayed in English?
Let's not ask foolish questions, and just admire the handsomeness.
Next morning, Henry's writing a letter to the king of France. And by "letter" I mean "slash fic about a young, virile king of England seducing the effeminate yet devastatingly attractive king of France".
Dear Frenchy, you got a body that just won't stop. Until I get a piece of that, I won't be having another homo-erotic shaving session. I DO IT ALL FOR YOU, BABY!
Meanwhile, the French cardinal is all, "Wolsey, you're so fine, you should totally be pope after that pope we made up dies."
And Wolsey's like, "Pope? Moi? Oh you!"
Lady Blount and Katherine do their best not to fail the Bechdel test.
While Henry's all, "I read this Philippa Gregory novel where Katherine totally lied about not having sex that time she was married to my dead brother. Reckon that's why we haven't been able to have kids?" Because their daughter doesn't count, obviously.
Katherine objects to Henry's taste in popular novels, his beard, and his stripey outfit. Also there's the bit where he's selling their daughter off to the Dauphin to secure a treaty.
GRATUITOUS KATHERINE.
We have, meanwhile, met Mr Boleyn, who is an ambassador to France. He's keen on the treaty because he has two daughters, and ... look, it was called The Other Boleyn Girl, look it up.
Here's Scarlett Johansson, I mean Mary.
And NataliePortman Dormer as Anne. Guess which of the two is evil!
So Henry's all, "Yo, Wolsey, what do you think of my outfit?" Which is half-finished, but he runs around in it so we can get anachronistic publicity images.
And Wolsey's like, "NEEDS MOAR BLING."
Then Henry shows off his horrid skinny arms:
While Wolsey both plots and schemes, because he's a multi-tasker.
Oh yeah, and Buckingham's still plotting treason, blah blah. Here's the reaction shot when he kills his servant in front of Norfolk and Boleyn:
BEST. FACES. EVER.
Stay tuned for episode two, in which stuff happens, then some more stuff, and then maybe a bit more!
Here is Sean Pertwee.
He's in Italy, being the Ambassador to somewhere in Italy. (It was only made up of city-states back then. I know, because of my learnings. Specifically eleventh grade modern history.) Sean's glum because he's about to be murdered by the French. Also because it's sort of uncanny how he only vaguely resembles his father, but sounds just like him.
Here's Henry VIII, as played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers:
THE RESEMBLANCE IS AMAZING, RIGHT?
Henry's bummed because Sean Pertwee, who was also his uncle, is dead. He's all like, "WE TOTALLY GO WAR ON FRANCE NOW, OKAY?"
Among Henry's advisors is Sam Neill:
He has a natty little hat, on account of how he's supposed to be Cardinal Wolsey. As you can see, he's already mid-scheme.
Then there's Thomas More (he's not a "Sir" yet), played by Jeremy "MORE HANDSOME THAN YOU" Northam. He, too, has a little hat, and spends a lot of time looking neutral and long-suffering:
WE ARE BEING NEUTRAL TOGETHER!
Then there's the Duke of Buckingham. He's bitter because his family was on the wrong side in the War of the Roses, and he could have been king if they'd won.
But he's not very interesting. MOAR WOLSEY AND MORE!
Anyway, the King is all, "Okay, war, that's awesome. BRB, BEIN A MANWHORE!"
Pay attention to that foot; you'll see more of her later.
Wolsey is off to meet with the French, on account of how he's not so down with this whole "war on France" scheme.
Here's Queen Katherine:
In real life, she was fair-skinned and red-haired, but most people get as far as reading that she's Spanish, and stereotypes fill in the rest. Although the actress here is Irish. Katherine is an intelligent, attractive older woman, so let's assume things aren't going to go well for her.
Katherine is anti-France and anti-Wolsey, which pisses Henry off because she's of the wrong gender to have opinions.
And this is Lady Elizabeth Blount, owner of the foot we saw earlier:
Isn't she pretty? She's one of Katherine's ladies-in-waiting, which is awkward, on account of how Henry is shagging her.
Katherine prays (in English) for a healthy son...
...while Henry's off being a cock-jockey with Bessie Blount.
Wolsey, meanwhile, is being creepy:
Although that's only a small taste of just how creepy Sam Neill can be:
MOAR WOLSEY PLS!
Gratuitous Katherine, 'cos she's my favourite:
Meanwhile, Henry has donned his best carpet...
And gone to pay a visit to the Mores.
I wish Jeremy Northam would hug me... where was I? Oh yes, look at his family!
Henry and Thomas have a long conversation.
About war.
Humanism.
History.
Upholstery.
More is all, "You were such a good kid when you were younger. I'm secretly a bit disappointed in you."
Then he stops to be handsome.
More handsomeness!
Meanwhile, blah blah Buckingham, treason, nothing worse than embittered royals yearning for the good old days instead of going out and getting a job.
Wolsey, meanwhile, is writing fic. I mean scheming.
He's just found out that Lady Blount is pregnant.
He makes an offhand remark about bastards, that hurts her (but I didn't screencap it because I was distracted by OMG SAM NEILL)...
And then he goes back to writing hardcore Doctor/Master smut.
Later, we find him putting his plans to Henry.
"OH HAI," he's saying, "UNITING FRANCE AND ENGLAND IS TOTES BETTER THAN GOING TO WAR."
Thomas More is all, "I must look neutral and slightly disapproving, also handsome in my natty hat."
But he's in favour of the bit where a united France and England can be a beacon of enlightenment and education and shit.
Here he is, with his family.
Then he retreats to his room for prayer. Which involves pulling his shirt off to reveal a self-flagellated back. Just like the albino in The Da Vinci Code, only handsome instead of hilarious.
HE R SRS CHRISTIAN. THESE R SRS SCARS. Oh, stereotypes.
Then there is prayer.
In Latin.
Why does More pray in Latin, when Katherine prayed in English?
Let's not ask foolish questions, and just admire the handsomeness.
Next morning, Henry's writing a letter to the king of France. And by "letter" I mean "slash fic about a young, virile king of England seducing the effeminate yet devastatingly attractive king of France".
Dear Frenchy, you got a body that just won't stop. Until I get a piece of that, I won't be having another homo-erotic shaving session. I DO IT ALL FOR YOU, BABY!
Meanwhile, the French cardinal is all, "Wolsey, you're so fine, you should totally be pope after that pope we made up dies."
And Wolsey's like, "Pope? Moi? Oh you!"
Lady Blount and Katherine do their best not to fail the Bechdel test.
While Henry's all, "I read this Philippa Gregory novel where Katherine totally lied about not having sex that time she was married to my dead brother. Reckon that's why we haven't been able to have kids?" Because their daughter doesn't count, obviously.
Katherine objects to Henry's taste in popular novels, his beard, and his stripey outfit. Also there's the bit where he's selling their daughter off to the Dauphin to secure a treaty.
GRATUITOUS KATHERINE.
We have, meanwhile, met Mr Boleyn, who is an ambassador to France. He's keen on the treaty because he has two daughters, and ... look, it was called The Other Boleyn Girl, look it up.
Here's Scarlett Johansson, I mean Mary.
And Natalie
So Henry's all, "Yo, Wolsey, what do you think of my outfit?" Which is half-finished, but he runs around in it so we can get anachronistic publicity images.
And Wolsey's like, "NEEDS MOAR BLING."
Then Henry shows off his horrid skinny arms:
While Wolsey both plots and schemes, because he's a multi-tasker.
Oh yeah, and Buckingham's still plotting treason, blah blah. Here's the reaction shot when he kills his servant in front of Norfolk and Boleyn:
BEST. FACES. EVER.
Stay tuned for episode two, in which stuff happens, then some more stuff, and then maybe a bit more!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 01:44 am (UTC)almostas much as *i* like sam neill. let's be friends.no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 01:47 am (UTC)sdlkfa;sdj i think i must watch this show. NOBODY TOLD ME IT HAD SAM NEILL. WHY?
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 01:48 am (UTC)And now I need to go out and buy some lamb chops for lunch, because Sam Neill told me to.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 02:12 am (UTC)ok, clearly I JUST FORGOT THIS. but now i have PICTURES OF SAM NEILL and i shall not forget again!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 02:23 am (UTC)